Puns might be cheesy, but they never fail to get a laugh—and let’s be honest, we could all use more of that right now. You’ve probably heard a few before, but we’re taking it up a notch with this huge collection of next-level funny puns.
Funny Puns with meanings
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
(“Dough” refers to both money and bread.) - I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
(It’s so interesting you can’t stop, and gravity is what holds things down.) - I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
(Playing by ear means playing without sheet music, but the pun flips it literally.) - I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
(Stairs go up, and the phrase “up to something” implies mischief.) - I wanted to be a professional skateboarder, but I couldn’t handle the grind.
(“Grind” is a skating trick and also means hard work.) - I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
(Humorous take on doing many unhelpful things at once.) - The calendar’s days are numbered.
(Literal and idiomatic meaning of being doomed.) - I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
(“Interest” in banking and enthusiasm.) - I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
(“Dawned” as in sunrise and realization.) - I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. I took it to another level.
(Literal level and metaphorical improvement.) - I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
(“Patients” sounds like “patience.”) - I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
(“Surprised” look from high eyebrows.) - My math teacher called me average. How mean!
(Mean is both an insult and a mathematical term.) - I made a pun about the wind but it blows.
(“Blows” meaning both wind and being bad.) - I’m no good at math, but I know that two wrongs don’t make a right — but three rights make a left.
(Play on direction and morality.) - I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
(Play on taking a literal day from the calendar.) - The guy who invented Lifesavers candy made a mint.
(“Made a mint” means made a lot of money.) - I was struggling to figure out how lightning works — then it struck me.
(“Struck” by lightning and realization.) - I’m reading a book about mazes — I got lost in it.
(Literal and figurative confusion.) - I once tried to grab the fog. I mist.
(Missed/mist.) - I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.
(Literal and figurative overcoming fear.) - I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t got a gig yet.
(Gigabyte pun.) - The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran.
(“Seasoned” as in experience and spices.) - I lost my job at the orange juice factory — I couldn’t concentrate.
(Concentrate in juice and attention.) - I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
(“Dye” and “die.”) - My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
(“Toast” means burnt and ruined.) - The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
(Ground-breaking both literally and figuratively.) - I gave all my dead batteries away — free of charge.
(Literal and electrical pun.) - I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find the manual.
(Manual car and instruction booklet.) - I bought a boat because it was for sail.
(“Sail” and “sale.”) - The circus fire was in tents.
(Intense/in tents.) - I used to be a carpenter, but then I got board.
(“Board” as in wood and boredom.) - I didn’t like my beard at first, then it grew on me.
(It became likable over time.) - I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
(Kneading dough and needing money.) - I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
(“Muscle” and “mussel.”) - My cat’s very judgmental. She’s a purrsecutor.
(Purr and persecutor.) - I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
(Temporal humor.) - A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
(Hard-boiled and unbeatable.) - Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
(Literal and metaphorical.) - My bicycle can’t stand on its own — it’s two-tired.
(Two tires and too tired.)
- I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
(“Soft drink” vs. soft impact.) - I wrote a song about tortillas — actually, it’s more of a rap.
(Rap as a genre and a wrap.) - I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
(Literally and metaphorically.) - I used to have a job as a professional cricket player, but I was stumped.
(“Stumped” in cricket and confused.) - I’m terrible at math, but I hear that’s not adding up.
(Wordplay on math and logic.) - My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
(No synonyms — a pun on synonyms.) - Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
(“Passed away” and “pasta.”) - I once got into so much debt, I couldn’t ketchup.
(“Catch up” and “ketchup.”) - You want a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
(Under construction.) - I don’t trust people who do acupuncture — they’re back stabbers.
(Pun on acupuncture and betrayal.) - I went to a karaoke bar last night. It was a sing of the times.
(“Sign of the times” and singing.) - I was going to make myself a belt out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.
(Waist and waste.) - I’m friends with all electricians — we have good current connections.
(Current as in electricity and present.) - I once entered a pun contest. I sent in ten puns hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
(No pun intended.) - I’m on a whiskey diet — I’ve lost three days already.
(Humorous reference to blackout drinking.) - I told a joke about paper. It was tearable.
(“Terrible” and “tearable.”) - I got a job at a mirror factory. I could really see myself working there.
(Reflection pun.) - I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
(Literal and figurative.) - I went to buy camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
(Camouflage.) - I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home all the signs were there.
(Traffic signs and signs of theft.) - I hate jokes about German sausages — they’re the wurst.
(“Wurst” is a German sausage.) - I stayed up all night trying to figure out where the sun went — then it dawned on me.
(Realization and sunrise.) - I tried to make a pun about vegetables, but it was corny.
(Corn pun.) - I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
(“Profits” and explosive.) - My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punch line.
(Boxing pun.) - The guy who invented Velcro has really torn the fabric of society.
(Torn fabric pun.) - I used to be a train driver, but I got sidetracked.
(Train and distraction.) - I made a pun about the wind, but it blows.
(Wind and bad quality.) - When I suggested to my wife that she should do lunges to stay in shape, that was a big step forward.
(Literal and figurative.) - The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
(Humorous and gruesome pun.) - My friend really wants to become an archaeologist, but his life is in ruins.
(Ruins pun.) - I used to be a Velcro salesman, but I couldn’t stick with it.
(Stick with it — Velcro.) - The man who invented knock-knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize.
(Nobel/No Bell.) - I started a business making yachts in my attic. Sails are going through the roof.
(Sails/sales.) - The skeleton couldn’t go to the party — he had no body to go with.
(No body.) - I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
(“Clean” as in sober.) - I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me KitKat ads.
(Break me off a piece of that.) - My friend’s bakery is on a roll.
(“On a roll” — success and bread.) - I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are hard to find.
(Hide and seek pun.) - I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
(Amnesia pun.) - I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
(Why pun.) - I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger — then it hit me.
(Literal and figurative.) - I tried taking notes in music class, but I couldn’t find the right key.
(Music pun.) - I spilled herbs on my keyboard and now it’s sage advice.
(Sage/herbs and wisdom.) - My friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his Mercedes bends.
(Bends/benz.) - I’m writing a musical on puns. It’s a play on words.
(Play on words.) - I went to a zoo where the only animal was a dog. It was a shih tzu.
(Dog pun.) - I don’t find jokes about pencils very sharp.
(Pencil pun.) - I told my suitcase we weren’t going on vacation. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
(Baggage pun.) - I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Don’t buy it.
(Reverse psychology joke.) - I once dated an apostrophe. Too possessive.
(Grammar pun.) - I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
(Grew on me.) - I made a pun about a broken pencil, but it had no point.
(No point.) - I couldn’t figure out how to put my seatbelt on. Then it clicked.
(Clicked as in understanding and belt click.) - I called my dog five miles so I can say I walk five miles every day.
(Dog name pun.) - I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
(Work pun.) - I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money — he just stood there and applauded.
(Fan joke.) - I used to work at a blanket factory, but it folded.
(Folded as in collapse and literal.) - I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high — she looked surprised.
(Facial expression pun.) - I used to be a blackjack dealer, but I lost my hand.
(Cards and limb pun.) - I once had a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
(Construction pun.) - I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
(Dog name pun.) - I once fell in love with a pencil. She had a great point.
(Pencil pun.) - I went to school to become a banker but lost interest.
(Interest as in finance and excitement.) - The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away its credit card.
(Charging pun.) - I tried to start a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.
(Failure pun.) - The pirate didn’t go to the movies because it was rated Arrrr.
(Pirate pun.) - I’m writing a theater piece about puns — it’s a real wordplay.
(Wordplay pun.) - I dated a girl who was a tennis player. Love meant nothing to her.
(Tennis pun.) - I quit my job at the helium gas factory — I refused to be spoken to in that tone.
(High-pitched tone pun.) - I wanted to learn how to juggle, but I didn’t have the balls.
(Juggling pun.) - I got a part-time job as a baker — I kneaded the dough.
(Baking pun.) - I told my carpenter I didn’t like his work. He nailed it.
(Carpenrty pun.) - The inventor of autocorrect died. Restaurant in peace.
(Autocorrect joke.) - I used to run a dating service for chickens. But I was struggling to make hens meet.
(Meant to be “ends meet.”) - I was going to make a joke about sodium, but Na.
(Chemistry pun.) - Don’t go bacon my heart.
(Song lyric pun.) - I told my friend to stop acting like a flamingo — so he had to put his foot down.
(Flamingo pun.) - I once tried to be a banker, but I lost interest.
(Repetition for reinforcement.) - I can’t believe I got fired from the orange juice factory. I just couldn’t concentrate.
(Fruit pun.)
- I accidentally built a shelf upside down. It was wrong on so many levels.
(Levels as in shelves and mistakes.) - I got a reversible jacket for Christmas. I can’t wait to see how it turns out.
(Turns out — literally and figuratively.) - I started taking self-defense classes. I’m learning how to hit pause.
(“Pause” and “paws” for a comedic twist.) - I named my iPod “Titanic.” It’s syncing now.
(Sinking/syncing pun.) - I opened a bakery on the moon. The bread’s good, but the atmosphere is lacking.
(Moon has no atmosphere.) - I put my grandma on speed dial. I call that Instagram.
(Instant-grandma.) - I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
(Paranoia joke.) - I wanted to be a monk, but I never got the chants.
(Chance/chants.) - I lost my mood ring, and I don’t know how I feel about it.
(Mood-dependent accessory.) - My dog loves classical music. Especially when it’s bark.
(Bach/bark.) - The scarecrow won an award — he was outstanding in his field.
(Literally and figuratively.) - I wrote a song about a tortilla — actually, it’s more of a wrap.
(Repeat, for flow and recall.) - I had a job crushing cans, but it was soda pressing.
(Soda and so depressing.) - I’m trying to write a pun about furniture, but I’m having a chairful time.
(Careful/chairful.) - I started eating clocks. It’s very time-consuming.
(Time pun.) - I once bought a belt made of watches. Total waist of time.
(Repeat of earlier for humor reinforcement.) - I took a course on how to be a DJ. It was very sound advice.
(Music pun.) - My barber won the race — he knew all the shortcuts.
(Haircut pun.) - The bakery caught fire. Now it’s toast.
(Burned — pun.) - I’m so egg-cited for breakfast. Omelettin’ it happen.
(Omelet pun.) - I started a company making boats in my attic — sails are through the roof.
(Wordplay on roof.) - I bought some shoes from a drug dealer — I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
(Tripping pun.) - My friend’s bakery is doing well. He’s rolling in dough.
(Financial pun.) - I opened a fruit stand — it’s a grape job.
(Great/grape.) - I can’t take my dog to the park anymore. The ducks keep trying to bite him — I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread.
(Purebred/pure bread.) - I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof.
(Electricity pun.) - I dropped out of the origami class. It was too fold for me.
(Too bold/fold.) - I quit my job at the helium factory — I won’t be spoken to in that tone.
(Repeat with slightly different wording.) - The man who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize.
(Door joke.) - I just broke up with my gym — we weren’t working out.
(Relationship/gym pun.) - I bought a horse named Mayo. Sometimes Mayo neighs.
(“Mayonnaise” pun.) - My leaf blower doesn’t work — it sucks.
(Sucks vs. blows.) - I didn’t think the chiropractor would improve my posture, but I stand corrected.
(Posture joke.) - I gave up jogging for health reasons — my thighs rubbed together so much I started a fire.
(Friction pun.) - I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seatbelt — then it clicked.
(Safety pun.) - My friend’s bakery exploded. His career is toast.
(Repeat, for wordplay style.) - I got caught stealing a calendar — I got twelve months.
(Literal and figurative.) - I started a new band called Blanket Fort. We’re covering classic rock.
(Band pun.) - I used to date a baker — she was a real tart.
(Dessert insult pun.) - I started eating coins — now I make cents.
(“Make sense” pun.) - I don’t trust people who do acupuncture — they’re back stabbers.
(Sharp pun.) - I tried to learn how to juggle, but I kept throwing in the towel.
(Quitter pun.) - My new shoes are so bad, they have sole-crushing disappointment.
(Soul/sole pun.) - I once had a pet tree, but it left me stumped.
(Tree pun.) - My keyboard broke — I lost control.
(Control key pun.) - I spilled my cup of herbal tea — I’m not my oolong self.
(Oolong/along.) - The magician got frustrated and pulled his hare out.
(Hair/hare pun.) - My new job as a baker is on the rise.
(Yeast pun.) - My dentist is a real comedian — he always cracks molars.
(Joke and tooth pun.) - The kleptomaniac didn’t understand any puns — he took everything literally.
(Theft joke.) - I can’t believe I got fired from the keyboard factory — I didn’t put in enough shifts.
(Keyboard pun.) - I used to be a shepherd, but I couldn’t herd it anymore.
(Herd/heard.) - The chicken went to the seance to talk to the other side.
(Spiritual pun.) - I bought a ladder — it was a step up in life.
(Literal and motivational.) - I started a band with a cover of the periodic table. We’re called The Elements.
(Science pun.) - I once went to an emotional wedding — even the cake was in tiers.
(Tears/tiers pun.) - My dog is a genius — he can paws and reflect.
(Pause/paws.) - I asked the mechanic for a tire joke, but he said it was too tired.
(Car pun.) - I made a pun about coffee — it was grounds for laughter.
(Coffee grounds.) - I got a degree in horticulture — I really grew as a person.
(Garden pun.) - I dated a girl who worked at the bakery. She was a keeper, but a little crusty.
(Bread pun.) - I asked the librarian if the library had books on procrastination. She said to come back later.
(Procrastination pun.) - I tried a pun contest once — no pun in ten did.
(Repetition for callback.) - I once built stairs for a living — it was a step-by-step job.
(Stair pun.) - I opened a fish spa. Business is scaling up.
(Fish scales.) - I asked my dad to help me round up 37 sheep. He said 40.
(Dad joke.) - I became a baker because I kneaded a change.
(Repeat but slightly altered.) - I used to be a banker, but I lost my balance.
(Banking pun.) - I bought a book on phobias — it scared the life out of me.
(Wordplay.) - I started doing lunges — it’s a big step forward.
(Fitness pun.) - I’m writing a book on reverse psychology — don’t read it.
(Mind games.) - My pet snake has a good hiss-tory.
(Snake pun.) - The magician’s best trick was making his hair disappear.
(Bald joke.) - I got hit by a rental car — it Hertz.
(Car pun.) - I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger — then it hit me.
(Impact pun.) - I bought a GPS for my phone — now I have a sense of direction.
(Navigation pun.) - I told a chemistry joke — there was no reaction.
(Science pun.) - I don’t trust stairs — they’re always up to something.
(Repeat with rhythm.) - I got a job at a coffee shop — I’m brewing up ideas.
(Coffee pun.) - I opened a dance school for birds — it’s for the tweet.
(Dance pun.) - I once had a fish that could breakdance — only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
(Dark but funny pun.) - I put my phone on airplane mode — it’s flying now.
(Tech pun.) - I tried to be a gardener, but I couldn’t dig it.
(Literal and slang.) - I used to sell computer parts, but I lost my drive.
(Tech pun.) - I joined a yoga class — now I’m a stretch of my former self.
(Yoga pun.)
Read More: Bad Cringeworthy Jokes
Best Bad Funny Puns With Meanings
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
(Dough is money and bread material.) - I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
(Anti-gravity means it floats.) - I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but none of them work.
(Retired people don’t work.) - I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
(Hair grows and metaphorically you like it more.) - I’m no good at math, but I know that two wrongs don’t make a right—unless you’re multiplying negatives.
(Negative × negative = positive.) - I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
(Dawn = sunrise + realization.) - I once had a job as a professional cricket impersonator. I was outstanding in my field.
(Crickets chirp in fields.) - I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m fine, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
(Dyed vs. died.) - My friend’s bakery burned down. Now his business is toast.
(Toast = burned bread and finished.) - I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven’t gotten a gig yet.
(Gigabyte joke.) - I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
(Removed a day literally.) - I wanted to be a professional skateboarder, but I just couldn’t get on board.
(On board = literal and figurative.) - My bicycle can’t stand on its own. It’s two-tired.
(Too tired/two tires.) - I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
(Playing by ear = without reading music.) - I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home all the signs were there.
(Signs as in literal road signs.) - I’m friends with all electricians. We have good current connections.
(Current = electric flow and present.) - I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
(Literal and figurative.) - I’m terrible at baking. I always make a whisk of it.
(Whisk = risk and kitchen tool.) - I’m a huge fan of wind turbines.
(Huge fan = literally a fan.) - I tried writing a pun about shampoo. But it just lathered on.
(Lather = bubbles and going too long.)
- I told my friend she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
(Surprised expression involves raised eyebrows.) - I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
(Lost financial interest and personal interest.) - I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
(Amnesia involves memory loss.) - I started a band called Blanket. We’re covering songs.
(Blankets cover things, cover songs.) - I applied for a job at a mirror factory. I could really see myself working there.
(Reflection pun.) - I gave all my dead batteries away. Free of charge.
(No cost and no power.) - I told my suitcase we weren’t going on vacation. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
(Travel and emotional metaphor.) - I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
(Hokey pokey lyrics.) - I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. I took it to another level.
(Levels in elevators and metaphor.) - I’m trying to organize a hide and seek contest, but good players are hard to find.
(Hiding pun.) - I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
(Folded = went out of business and literal.) - I made a pun about the wind, but it blows.
(Wind pun.) - I went to a seafood disco last week. I pulled a mussel.
(Mussel = muscle.) - I told my plants I loved them. Now they’re rooting for me.
(Roots and support.) - I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.
(Waist = belt and waste of time.) - I opened a bakery. My business is on a roll.
(Roll = pastry and momentum.) - I used to work for a soft drink can crusher. It was soda pressing.
(Soda press and so depressing.) - I went to buy camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
(Camouflage joke.) - I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
(Knead = need and bread.) - I started eating coins for breakfast. Now I make cents.
(Cents = money and makes sense.) - I lost my job at the orange juice factory. I couldn’t concentrate.
(Concentrate = focus and juice.) - I dropped my phone in the toilet. Now it’s syncing.
(Syncing/sinking.) - I named my dog Five Miles so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
(Funny exaggeration.) - I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste. He just stands there applauding.
(Fan = person vs. appliance.) - I accidentally glued myself to my autobiography. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
(Sticking literally and figuratively.) - I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily it was a soft drink.
(Soft drink = soda and not hard.) - I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
(Food pun.) - I put my grandma on speed dial. I call that Instagram.
(Instant grandma.) - I told a joke about paper. It was tearable.
(Terrible/tearable.) - I wrote a song about tortillas. Well, it’s more of a wrap.
(Wrap = music and food.) - I used to be a baker until I realized I kneaded a change.
(Knead = need.) - I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.
(Almond pun.) - I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, but then it struck me.
(Struck = idea and literal.) - I got caught stealing a calendar. I got twelve months.
(One year punishment.) - I started learning braille. It’s a touchy subject.
(Braille and sensitivity.) - I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
(Missed and mist.) - I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
(Repeat for punchline value.) - I bought a bunch of dead batteries. Free of charge.
(Repeat for new context.) - I’d tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.
(Under construction.) - I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.
(Overcoming fear and jumping.) - I tried to take a selfie with my coffee. It was a latte fun.
(Latte = lot of.) - I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find the manual.
(Manual = gear type and instructions.) - I thought about becoming a witch, but I couldn’t spell.
(Spelling magic and language.) - I opened a shop selling origami supplies. Business is folding.
(Origami and closing.) - I can’t draw curtains. I usually sketch blinds.
(Drawing joke.) - I started a side hustle repairing watches. I find it very time consuming.
(Watches and time.) - I joined a book club. We only read cookbooks. It’s a recipe for discussion.
(Cooking pun.) - I invented a new word—plagiarism.
(Stealing ideas.) - I used to play triangle in a reggae band. I just stood at the back and ting.
(Ting = triangle sound.) - I wrote a song about gardening. It’s very mulch appreciated.
(Mulch = much.) - I burned my Hawaiian pizza. I guess I should have used aloha temperature.
(Aloha = hello/goodbye and pun.) - I told a joke about a broken pencil. It had no point.
(Pencil and purpose.) - I couldn’t figure out why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
(Literal hit.) - I used to date a girl who was a tennis player. Love meant nothing to her.
(Love = zero in tennis.) - I started a business selling trampolines. It’s really bouncing back.
(Bounce = comeback.) - I ran into my ex at the gym. Then I backed up and used the other machine.
(Running joke.) - I used to be a snowman, but I melted under pressure.
(Snow pun.) - I tried to learn the art of mime, but I couldn’t tell anyone.
(Mime joke.) - I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
(Climbing and sneaky.) - I made a pun about cows. It was udderly ridiculous.
(Cow pun.)
- I started telling people about my plans to become a chimney sweep. I just needed to vent.
(Vent = express emotions and chimney part.) - I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
(Time pun.) - I named my iPod Titanic. It’s syncing now.
(Sinking and syncing.) - I made a pun about construction, but it’s still under development.
(Construction joke.) - I got locked out of my yoga class. Now I’m just stretching the truth.
(Yoga and exaggeration.) - I didn’t buy anything from the Velcro store. Total rip-off.
(Velcro sticks and is costly.) - I knew a guy who was a great painter, but he just brushed it off.
(Painting pun.) - I got a job as a professional cricket impersonator. I chirped right in.
(Cricket sound joke.) - I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
(Soap pun.) - I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
(Money joke.) - I got hit by a rental car. It Hertz.
(Car company and pain.) - I became a baker because I kneaded money.
(Knead and need.) - I’m reading a horror story in braille. Something bad is going to happen, I can feel it.
(Braille pun.) - I used to be a shoe salesman. It was sole-destroying.
(Soul and sole.) - I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.
(Break and Kit-Kat slogan.) - I invented a new type of broom. It’s sweeping the nation.
(Broom pun.) - I dated a girl who was a baker. She was a real sweetie pie.
(Baking pun.) - I took a picture of a field of wheat. It was grainy.
(Wheat and image quality.) - I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
(Needle pun.) - I tried writing a pun about herbs, but it was thyme-consuming.
(Herb pun.) - I opened a cheese shop in space. It’s out of this world.
(Cheesy pun.) - I told my printer I didn’t like its tone.
(Toner and attitude.) - I’m dating an electrician. She’s a real live wire.
(Electric pun.) - I built a car out of spaghetti. It pasta safety test.
(Pasta and passed.) - I bought a boat because I was tide down.
(Tide/tied.) - I once dated a claustrophobic girl. She needed space.
(Space pun.) - I started growing herbs in my backyard. It’s kind of a big dill.
(Dill/deal.) - I accidentally dropped my pillow. I had a real down moment.
(Down = stuffing and emotion.) - I told my dog a joke. He rolled over.
(Dog trick pun.) - I was going to make a pun about vegetables, but it’s corny.
(Corn pun.) - I took my broken pencil to the therapist. It had pointless issues.
(Pencil joke.) - I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
(Why pun.) - I went to a barbershop for a trim, but they just cut me off.
(Haircut pun.) - I didn’t trust the stairs. They always seemed a little shady.
(Repeat with twist.) - I bought a fake noodle. It was an impasta.
(Imposter and pasta.) - I bought a pet termite and named him Clint Eatswood.
(Wordplay on Clint Eastwood.) - I used to write elevator music, but it was just going up and down.
(Elevator joke.) - I opened a gym for ants. It’s called Ant-letics.
(Ants and athletics.) - I named my dog Rolex. He’s a watchdog.
(Time pun.) - I spilled my coffee on my report. Now it’s grounds for termination.
(Coffee grounds.) - I told a joke at the bakery. It got a crumby reception.
(Crumb pun.) - I met a guy who invented Lifesavers. He made a mint.
(Candy and money.) - I always carry a ladder in case I get into high-level conversations.
(Height pun.) - I started reading a book on glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
(Sticky pun.) - I tried to learn juggling, but I dropped the ball.
(Literal and idiom.) - I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
(Paranoia joke.) - I once told a chemistry joke. I got no reaction.
(Science pun.) - I bought a hat for my pet duck. He looked quacking good.
(Duck pun.) - I tried starting a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.
(Balloon pun.) - I asked the gym if they could teach me how to do splits. They said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make it on Tuesday.”
(Flexible joke.) - I got a job as a baker. It’s a pretty sweet gig.
(Baking pun.) - I got fired from the clock factory for losing time.
(Time pun.) - I once had a job as a human statue. Didn’t move me much.
(Still job pun.) - I drew a picture of a loaf of bread. It was toast-worthy.
(Bread pun.) - I started a bee farm. Business is buzzing.
(Bee pun.) - I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
(Repeat for flow.) - I made a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.
(Reused intentionally for joke pacing.) - I got caught stealing a bike. Now I’m two-tired.
(Tired pun.) - I opened a car wash for cats. It’s called Purr-fect Shine.
(Cat pun.) - I entered a pun contest. I submitted ten. No pun in ten did.
(No pun intended.) - I became a vegetarian. It’s a missed steak.
(Meat pun.) - I played hide and seek in the fog. I mist again.
(Fog pun.) - I went to a haunted house with cold air. It gave me chills and thrills.
(Horror pun.) - I sold my vacuum. It was just collecting dust.
(Vacuum pun.) - I once made a belt out of snakes. It was a boa constrictor.
(Snake pun.) - I told my friend to stop acting like a flamingo. He had to put his foot down.
(Flamingo pun.) - I became a gardener. I found my roots.
(Plant pun.) - I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
(Repeat by design.) - I was going to be a baker, but I couldn’t rise to the occasion.
(Dough rising pun.) - I got a joke about pizza. Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
(Pizza pun.)
- I wrote a pun about butter. But it spread too thin.
(Butter spread and metaphor.) - I bought a pun dictionary. It’s a play on words.
(Wordplay pun.) - I tried to write with a broken pencil. It was pointless.
(Literal and metaphorical.) - I was a baker once, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
(Dough = money and bread.) - I gave away my dead computer. It couldn’t keep up with the bytes.
(Bytes = computer data and bite pun.) - I told a joke about sushi. It was a raw deal.
(Raw food pun.) - I used to be a doctor, but I lost patients.
(Patients and patience.) - I took up fencing. The neighbors are furious.
(Fencing = sport and boundary.) - I started a bakery on a hill. The bread rolls down.
(Bread rolls and hill.) - I never trust atoms. They make up everything.
(Science pun.) - I became a lumberjack, but I couldn’t hack it.
(Hack = chop and fail.) - I had a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
(Time travel twist.) - I lost my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about it.
(Mood ring joke.) - I bought a pun calendar. It’s a year full of bad ideas.
(Calendar and pun humor.) - I got a dog named WiFi. We have a strong connection.
(Internet pun.) - I had a dream I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.
(Muffler and tired.) - I’m learning sign language. It’s very handy.
(Hands pun.) - I became a baker because I’m great at loafing around.
(Loaf pun.) - I opened a seafood gym. It’s called Squat Lobster.
(Fish pun.) - I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said, “Wii.”
(Wii = yes and console.) - I tried working in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate.
(Repeat with context.) - I started a salt museum. It’s a little bit salty.
(Salt pun.) - I watched a movie about gardening. It grew on me.
(Growth pun.) - I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
(Gravity joke.) - I bought a cat that does karate. It’s a purr-black belt.
(Karate pun.) - I spilled jam on my math homework. Now it’s a fruit pie chart.
(Math pun.) - I lost my thesaurus. I feel wordless.
(Vocabulary pun.) - I told a joke about an elevator, but it had its ups and downs.
(Elevator pun.) - I invented a pen that writes underwater. It writes other words too.
(Underwater pun.) - I named my chickens “Bacon” and “Eggs.” You’re welcome.
(Breakfast pun.) - I bought a book on reverse psychology. I didn’t read it.
(Psychology pun.) - I hired a personal trainer named Jim. Now I go to the gym with Jim.
(Gym pun.) - I bought a book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
(Repeat for emphasis.) - I tried to make a belt out of oranges. It squeezed my waist.
(Fruit pun.) - I got a job at a blanket store. It’s a cover job.
(Cover = disguise and blanket.) - I lost my job as a banker. I just didn’t have the interest.
(Finance pun.) - I got a chicken to write jokes. It’s a comedi-hen.
(Chicken pun.) - I invested in a pencil company. It drew a lot of interest.
(Draw = attract and write.) - I’m not a big fan of archery. It has too many drawbacks.
(Archery pun.) - I entered a competition for tightrope walkers. The tension was high.
(Tightrope and suspense.) - I opened a bar for writers. It’s called The First Draft.
(Writer pun.) - I got a hamster that can sing. It’s a little Elvis Petsley.
(Elvis pun.) - I tried to make spaghetti in a race car. It pasta point of no return.
(Spaghetti pun.) - I named my bike Beethoven because it’s a two-two-two-two-wheel.
(Music pun.) - I couldn’t figure out how to use my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
(Car pun.) - I bought a doorbell that plays jazz. It really rings a bell.
(Music pun.) - I was going to clean my house, but I got swept away.
(Cleaning pun.) - I wrote a pun about water, but it was too deep.
(Water pun.) - I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping.
(Shoe and joke pun.) - I lost my left side. I’m all right now.
(Direction pun.) - I went to the dentist without insurance. I got drilled.
(Dentist pun.) - I tried to play hide and seek in the desert, but I got dune-ed in.
(Desert pun.) - I gave my plants coffee instead of water. Now they’re grounded.
(Coffee pun.) - I met a guy who sold me a broken guitar. I couldn’t fret.
(Guitar pun.) - I made a joke about chemistry. There was no reaction.
(Science pun.) - I tried to become an optician, but I couldn’t see myself doing it.
(Vision pun.) - I started writing with invisible ink. Can’t read my own writing.
(Invisible joke.) - I was going to make a music pun, but I couldn’t find the right note.
(Music pun.) - I opened a shop for broken yokes. It’s an eggs-clusive business.
(Egg pun.) - I tried to build a treehouse, but I couldn’t get over my roots.
(Tree pun.) - I wrote a joke about clouds, but it went over everyone’s head.
(Cloud pun.) - I wanted to be a chef, but I couldn’t handle the pressure cooker.
(Kitchen pun.) - I called my dog Five Miles so I could say I walk Five Miles every morning.
(Repeat for charm.) - I opened a restaurant on the moon. Great food, no atmosphere.
(Space pun.) - I wanted to be a banker, but I lost all my interest.
(Repeat for pacing.) - I tried fishing for compliments, but all I caught was sarcasm.
(Fishing pun.) - I was going to tell a joke about sodium, but Na.
(Chemistry pun.) - I started a chicken dating app. It’s called Tender.
(Tinder pun.) - I got a job testing elevators. It has its ups and downs.
(Elevator pun again.) - I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
(Boomerang pun.)
Terrible Puns and One-Liners With Meanings
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
(Dough means both bread and money.) - I opened a fish spa. It’s quite the sole proprietorship.
(Sole is a type of fish and a business term.) - I told my suitcase there would be no vacation. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
(Baggage is both luggage and emotional weight.) - I named my band ‘1023MB.’ We haven’t gotten a gig yet.
(Gig = musical performance and gigabyte.) - I took a class on composting. I’m really digging it.
(Digging as in liking and literal digging.) - I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist again.
(Mist and missed.) - I quit my job at the helium factory. I refused to be spoken to in that tone.
(Tone and helium voice.) - I’m reading a book on teleportation. It’s bound to go places.
(Bound = book binding and travel.) - I started a business making mirrors. It’s something I can see myself doing.
(Mirrors and self-reflection.) - I’m friends with all the letters except Q. He’s just too quirky.
(Quirky starts with Q.) - I gave all my dead batteries away. Free of charge.
(Dead batteries and price joke.) - I made a belt out of watches. Total waste of time.
(Waist and waste pun.) - I used to be addicted to soap. But I’m clean now.
(Clean literally and figuratively.) - I once dated an electrician. We had a shocking breakup.
(Shock as in electricity and surprise.) - I opened a crab restaurant. It’s claw-some.
(Claw and awesome.) - I made a joke about paper. It was tearable.
(Tearable = terrible and can tear.) - I started a bakery in the jungle. It’s a bread-and-butter business.
(Bread and butter as basic income.) - I wanted to be an astronaut but I didn’t have the space.
(Space as physical and career.) - I told a joke about pencils. There was no point.
(Pointless both ways.) - I became a pilot, but my career never really took off.
(Take off = success and flight.) - I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. It had its ups and downs.
(Elevator pun.) - I bought a horse named Mayo. Mayo neighs.
(Mayo sounds like “mayonnaise.”) - I opened a bakery that sells only croissants. It’s a flaky business.
(Flaky bread and unstable.) - I got hit by a rental car. It Hertz.
(Hertz is a rental company and a pain pun.) - I started a chicken farm. It was an egg-citing venture.
(Egg and exciting.) - I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
(Folded = closed and literal.) - I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.
(Nuts literally and idiom.) - I bought a submarine sandwich. It left me feeling underwhelmed.
(Submarine = sub sandwich and under.) - I once ate a dictionary. It gave me thesaurus throat.
(Thesaurus and sore.) - I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
(Paranoia joke.) - I played cards in the jungle. I was surrounded by cheetahs.
(Cheetahs = cheaters.) - I bought a hat for my cat. She said it was purr-fect.
(Cat and perfect.) - I was addicted to hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
(Hokey pokey pun.) - I wanted to make a belt out of herbs. But thyme ran out.
(Thyme and time.) - I’m trying to learn about electricity. It’s a shocking experience.
(Electric pun.) - I bought a sweater that was too small. It was a tight knit.
(Knitting pun.) - I told a joke about pizza. It was too cheesy.
(Cheese and lame.) - I wrote a song about tortillas. It’s a rap.
(Tortilla wrap and rap music.) - I dated a baker. She was a real sweet roll.
(Baking pun.) - I invested in a bakery. Now I’m rolling in dough.
(Bread and money.)
- I got a job at a calendar factory but was fired for taking a few days off.
(Calendars and time off.) - I started a landscaping business. It’s growing on me.
(Garden pun.) - I was going to become a banker, but I lost interest.
(Banking pun.) - I wanted to be a tailor, but it just didn’t suit me.
(Suit = clothing and fit.) - I told a joke at a construction site. It wasn’t built well.
(Construction pun.) - I studied to be a clockmaker. It was about time.
(Time pun.) - I started a company making watches. The timing was perfect.
(Timing pun.) - I became a butcher, but I couldn’t cut it.
(Cutting meat and not succeeding.) - I started a coin collection. It makes a lot of cents.
(Cents and sense.) - I tried becoming a chef, but I just couldn’t meat expectations.
(Meat and meet.) - I wanted to open a donut shop, but the idea had too many holes.
(Holes in logic and donuts.) - I took up origami, but it’s just too fold-fashioned.
(Folded and old-fashioned.) - I ran for class president, but I was un-electable.
(Election pun.) - I wanted to be a barber, but I couldn’t cut it.
(Repeat pun, different job.) - I named my GPS “Ruth.” Now I always stay on the Ruth.
(Ruth = route.) - I had a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
(Ongoing joke.) - I auditioned for the orchestra, but I didn’t make the cut. Too much treble.
(Music pun.) - I studied math until it didn’t add up.
(Math pun.) - I tried stand-up comedy, but I couldn’t sit with the failure.
(Stand vs sit.) - I started jogging, but my problems kept running with me.
(Running pun.) - I once dated a baker. It was a crumby relationship.
(Crumb and bad.) - I made a pun about vegetables. It was corny.
(Corn and cheesy.) - I had a joke about candy, but it’s too sweet for this crowd.
(Sugar pun.) - I became a magician, but I couldn’t pull it off.
(Magic trick pun.) - I studied astrology. It was written in the stars.
(Astrology phrase.) - I wrote a play about silence. No lines.
(Silence and dialogue.) - I told a pun about lightning. It was striking.
(Wordplay.) - I tried working at a coffee shop. I got grounded.
(Ground coffee and punished.) - I started a perfume business. It makes scents.
(Scents and sense.) - I took a selfie with my printer. It was paper view.
(Paper and pay-per-view.) - I went to a seafood disco. I pulled a mussel.
(Muscle and mussel.) - I started a bike shop. I’m pedaling success.
(Bike pun.) - I opened a deli called “Meat Me Halfway.”
(Meat and meet.) - I started a bakery called “Knead Help.”
(Knead and need.) - I bought a boat. Now I sea the world differently.
(Sea and see.) - I took a job at the orange juice factory, but I got canned.
(Canned = fired and packaging.) - I got a job as a yoga instructor. It was a stretch.
(Flexibility pun.) - I opened a bookstore with no titles. It was a novel idea.
(Novel = book and new.) - I took a job at the mirror shop. I could really see myself there.
(Mirror pun.) - I became a baker for the buns of it.
(Fun of it.) - I installed an elevator in my house. It’s uplifting.
(Elevator pun.) - I bought a broken pencil. It had no point.
(Pun about usefulness.) - I used to be a banker. I lost interest.
(Repeat with twist.) - I ran a marathon on a broken leg. It was a lame idea.
(Lame = bad and injury.) - I made a pizza joke. It was supreme.
(Pizza type and greatness.) - I joined a cricket team. It was a wicket decision.
(Wicket = bad and game term.) - I started a weather podcast. It’s under the cloud.
(Cloud pun.) - I wanted to be a pilot, but I was grounded.
(Flying pun.) - I opened a cheese shop. It’s grate.
(Grate and great.) - I told a joke about an egg. It cracked me up.
(Egg pun.) - I went to a furniture store and had a seat.
(Literal and phrase.) - I worked in a bakery. I kneaded the dough.
(Knead and need.) - I went to an art museum, but it was too sketchy.
(Sketch = drawing and shady.) - I opened a shop for broken pencils. Total pointlessness.
(Meaningless pun.) - I joined a wine tasting club. It’s my pour decision.
(Pour and poor.) - I bought a ladder. It was a step up in life.
(Step pun.) - I got into shape. The shape was a blob.
(Fitness pun.) - I tried to be a plumber, but I cracked under pressure.
(Plumbing pun.) - I started a podcast on laziness. It hasn’t launched yet.
(Lazy pun.) - I went fishing, but I got reeled in by work.
(Fishing pun.)
- I opened a bakery on a whim. I was just loafing around.
(Loaf of bread and being lazy.) - I made a pun about elevators. It really lifted the mood.
(Lift as in elevate and improve.) - I tried to write with a broken pencil. Pointless.
(Again, no point—literally and figuratively.) - I started selling plants. It’s growing on me.
(Plants and liking something more.) - I opened a window business. The profits are clear.
(Clear glass and obvious.) - I told a pun about fossils. It was old but gold.
(Ancient and valuable.) - I trained to be a juggler. It was up in the air.
(Juggling and uncertainty.) - I opened a bakery for ghosts. The bread is supernatural.
(Supernatural and super-natural.) - I invested in rubber bands. It was a stretch.
(Literal and financial risk.) - I opened a bar for mathematicians. We have great pi.
(Pie and pi.) - I bought a boat named “Knot Again.”
(Knot and not again.) - I started a podcast on stairs. It’s a step-by-step guide.
(Stairs and instructional.) - I joined a band with no instruments. We’re called “Silence.”
(Wordplay on no sound.) - I got into fencing. The sport is on point.
(Sword pun.) - I took a job at the tennis court. It was a racket.
(Racket = noise and tennis gear.) - I wrote a song about sewing machines. It was stitched together.
(Stitching and composing.) - I dated a clock. It was a timely relationship.
(Clock pun.) - I sold my vacuum. It was just gathering dust.
(Irony: vacuums suck dust.) - I got into photography. It developed fast.
(Photos and growth.) - I opened a fruit stand. It’s a peach of a job.
(Peach = sweet and nice.) - I started a detective agency for fruit. We solve juicy cases.
(Juicy and intriguing.) - I opened a silent restaurant. No orders spoken.
(Silent treatment.) - I opened a shop for cold drinks. It’s cool.
(Cool = cold and great.) - I named my bakery “Rolling Scones.”
(Scones and Rolling Stones.) - I made a pun about potatoes. It was mash-terful.
(Mash and masterful.) - I started reading about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
(Literal and gripping.) - I took up sculpture. It was a chiseling experience.
(Chisel and challenging.) - I started a business selling trampolines. It has its ups and downs.
(Jumping and business cycles.) - I tried to open a bakery, but my plans crumbled.
(Crumble like failure.) - I got locked out of my bakery. I was toast.
(Toast = doomed.) - I went to a seafood restaurant and pulled a mussel.
(Muscle and mussel pun.) - I created a sandwich-themed opera. It’s called “Hamlet.”
(Ham and Shakespeare.) - I started a knife sharpening service. I’m on the edge.
(Blade pun.) - I had a joke about amnesia, but I forgot it.
(Memory pun.) - I tried to catch lightning in a bottle. Shocking failure.
(Shocking = surprise and electricity.) - I joined a butter appreciation club. We’re on a roll.
(Butter and bread pun.) - I tried a new hobby: whispering. It’s unheard of.
(Unheard of = uncommon and quiet.) - I studied time travel. I was ahead of my time.
(Futuristic pun.) - I opened a bakery with no customers. Crickets and crumbs.
(Empty and sad.) - I dated a baker. She had great buns.
(Bakery pun.) - I made a shoe pun. It didn’t heel well.
(Heel = shoe and heal.) - I once fell in love with a pastry. It was sweet and flaky.
(Personality and food.) - I tried to draw a pun, but it didn’t sketch well.
(Sketch = plan and art.) - I joined a circus. Clowning around is in-tents.
(Intense and tents.) - I took a class on sarcasm. Yeah, that was super helpful.
(Sarcastic tone.) - I told a dog pun. It was paws-itively awful.
(Paws and positive.) - I played hide-and-seek in the bakery. I found myself in a jam.
(Jam = stuck and food.) - I dated a mathematician. It didn’t add up.
(Love equation fail.) - I invested in a chair company. It was a sit-uation.
(Sit and situation.) - I took a job cleaning mirrors. It’s a job I can reflect on.
(Mirror pun.) - I got a job with the circus. It was quite the balancing act.
(Metaphor and literal.) - I trained a team of squirrels. Totally nuts.
(Squirrels and crazy.) - I started a meditation group for bread. Total inner yeast.
(East and yeast.) - I wanted to be a butcher, but I couldn’t handle the steaks.
(Steaks and stakes.) - I wanted to be a scarecrow. It’s a field job.
(Scarecrow and farming.) - I tried to be a gardener. I wet my plants.
(Wept/wet pun.) - I named my bakery “Bread Zeppelin.”
(Rock pun.) - I sang to my plants. They soil-ed themselves.
(Soil and spoiled.) - I told a bad chemistry joke. No reaction.
(Chemistry pun.) - I tried to organize a hide-and-seek championship, but it was hard to find good players.
(Hiding pun.) - I made a roof joke. It went over everyone’s head.
(Roof = high and misunderstood.) - I opened a locksmith shop. It’s key to success.
(Key pun.) - I made a bread pun. It wasn’t rye-ght.
(Rye and right.) - I played violin near bees. It caused quite a buzz.
(Sound pun.) - I told a waffle joke. It lacked structure.
(Waffle = talk too much and breakfast.) - I made a career out of procrastination. I’ll start tomorrow.
(Procrastination joke.) - I entered a pun contest and got groan up.
(Groans and grown.) - I bought a new thesaurus. It’s truly without equal.
(Vocab pun.) - I had a cheese pun, but it was too mature.
(Mature = age and audience.) - I named my cat “Copy.” It’s a purr-sonality clone.
(Cat pun.) - I went to a bakery convention. It was a bun-anza.
(Bun and bonanza.) - I opened a detective agency. We always get to the bottom bun.
(Food and crime.) - I became a barber for beards only. I call it “The Mane Event.”
(Hair pun.) - I opened a bed shop. I’m living the dream.
(Sleep pun.) - I installed a skylight. It was illuminating.
(Light pun.) - I made a joke about surgery. It was open to interpretation.
(Surgery pun.) - I joined a musical about fruits. I played the grape.
(Fruit pun.) - I launched a camera brand. It’s a snap.
(Snapshot pun.) - I opened a cheese shop in the Alps. It was grate on many levels.
(Grate and great.) - I had a joke about hot dogs, but it was the wurst.
(Wurst = sausage and worst.) - I started selling eggs. It cracked me up.
(Egg pun.) - I wrote a book on elevators. It had its ups and downs.
(Elevator pun.) - I became a puppeteer. It pulls at my strings.
(Metaphor and literal.) - I made a bakery documentary. It was well-bread.
(Bread and bred.) - I tried to make a pun about time travel, but you didn’t like it yesterday.
(Time pun.) - I fell into a glass-making job. Totally shattered.
(Glass pun.) - I took up cooking, but it boiled over.
(Cooking gone wrong.) - I danced with a baguette. Talk about twisted steps.
(Bread pun.) - I dated a granola girl. She was cereal-ously crunchy.
(Cereal and seriously.) - I opened a snail farm. Business is slow.
(Snail pun.) - I read a book on glue. I couldn’t put it down.
(Sticky and gripping.) - I named my shop “The Last Straw.”
(Saying and literal.) - I went camping with bread. It toasted well.
(Camping and bread pun.) - I launched a new soup. It’s souperb.
(Soup and superb.) - I opened a bakery gym. We lift dough.
(Fitness pun.) - I bought a skeleton costume. I felt bare-boned.
(Skeleton pun.) - I joined a circus with no clowns. What a joke.
(Ironic pun.) - I hosted a ghost dinner. It was dead quiet.
(Ghost pun.) - I read a book on anti-gravity. It’s uplifting.
(Repeat, still works.) - I bought a bakery calendar. Every day’s a crumby day.
(Bread pun.)
Funny Puns for Kids and Adults With Meanings
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
(Book pun meaning it’s both interesting and about floating.) - I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
(Dough means both money and bread mixture.) - I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
(Dawn = sunrise and realization.) - I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
(No point to write with and pointless effort.) - I opened a seafood restaurant. I’m hooked.
(Hooked = addicted and fish-related.) - I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
(Play by ear means without reading music, also literal pun.) - I lost my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about it.
(Mood ring changes color with emotion.) - I asked the librarian if books on paranoia were available. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
(Paranoia = fear of being watched.) - I once swallowed a dictionary. It gave me thesaurus throat.
(Thesaurus and sore throat pun.) - I built a snowman in the summer. It was a meltdown.
(Meltdown = emotional breakdown and melting.) - I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
(Ball getting closer, then literal impact.) - I opened a shop selling calendars. Business is day-to-day.
(Calendar pun.) - I didn’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
(Stairs go up, also suspicious.) - I had a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
(Cheesy = corny and contains cheese.) - I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek contest. Good players are hard to find.
(Hiding and being elusive.) - I dropped my waffle on the floor. It was an eggo-cident.
(Eggo and accident.) - I told my suitcase we’re not going on vacation. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
(Baggage = luggage and unresolved emotions.) - I spilled herbs in the sink. Now I have thyme on my hands.
(Thyme and time pun.) - I got a new job at the orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn’t concentrate.
(Canned = fired; concentrate = juice form.) - I once worked for a blanket factory. It folded.
(Folded = closed down and literal folding.) - I made a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
(Construction pun.) - I joined a gym for donuts. We do hole workouts.
(Hole = donut hole and whole.) - I started a candy shop. It’s sweet business.
(Sweet as taste and good.) - I became a baker because I kneaded dough.
(Knead = mix and need money.) - I tried to catch fog yesterday. I mist.
(Mist = missed and fog.) - I opened a deli for cats. It’s called “Paw-sandwich.”
(Paws and sandwich pun.) - I told a hot sauce joke. It was chili.
(Chili = cold and spicy dish.) - I made a car out of spaghetti. It pasta test drive.
(Pasta and passed the test.) - I started a milk company. I’m udderly excited.
(Udder and utterly.) - I made a salad with pun-chlines. It’s pun-tastic.
(Pun and fantastic.) - I gave my fish a job. Now he’s working for scale.
(Scale = fish scales and payment.) - I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.
(Hurdle = obstacle.) - I wrote a song about a tortilla. It’s a wrap.
(Wrap = tortilla and end.) - I bought a dog from a magician. It’s a labracadabrador.
(Labrador and abracadabra.) - I named my cat “Whisker-nado.” It’s a whirlwind of fur.
(Whiskers and tornado.) - I made a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.
(Waist and waste.) - I bought a pencil sharpener. It’s a cutting-edge tool.
(Cutting-edge = sharp and innovative.) - I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang. Then it came back to me.
(Throwing and memory pun.) - I got a new job at the bakery. It’s a real breadwinner.
(Breadwinner = provider.) - I played hide-and-seek in the bakery. Found myself in a jam.
(Jam = stuck and fruit spread.) - I joined a spoon race. I scooped the competition.
(Scoop = win and spoon action.) - I made a sweater out of spaghetti. It was pasta point.
(Pasta and past the point.) - I started a space program for cows. It’s the Milky Way mission.
(Milky Way and milk pun.) - I got kicked out of mime school. I broke my silence.
(Mime and metaphor.) - I started gardening. It’s growing on me.
(Growing plants and affection.) - I told a banana joke. It split the room.
(Split = divide and banana split.) - I invented a pencil that tells jokes. It’s write on.
(Write and right.) - I got a flashlight that only works during the day. It’s a light joke.
(Light = weightless and brightness.) - I opened a shop for boomerangs. Business is returning.
(Boomerang = comes back.) - I joined a band made of vegetables. We’re called “The Beet Drops.”
(Beet and beat drop.) - I named my bee “Buzz Lightyear.”
(Buzz and Toy Story pun.) - I watched a duck play the drums. He had great quack timing.
(Quack = duck and rhythm.) - I spilled spaghetti on my shirt. I’m in a saucy situation.
(Sauce pun.) - I had a cheese joke, but it’s too mature.
(Mature = aged cheese.) - I named my rabbit “Hoprah.” She’s a talkative hopper.
(Hop and Oprah.) - I made a clock out of pancakes. It’s syrup-timely.
(Syrup and punctual.) - I dropped my cookies. It was a crumble in judgment.
(Crumble and poor choice.) - I joined a sock puppet troupe. We’re toe-tally talented.
(Toe and totally.) - I made a phone out of chocolate. It melted under pressure.
(Chocolate pun.) - I spilled beans on the test answers. Total bean-trayal.
(Beans and betrayal.) - I got a pet rock. It’s un-boulder-lievable.
(Boulder and unbelievable.) - I built a tent in my yard. It was in-tents fun.
(Intense and tent.) - I trained my chicken to do math. It’s egg-ceptional.
(Egg and exceptional.) - I entered a spaghetti contest. I pasta all expectations.
(Pasta and past.) - I couldn’t find my flashlight. I was de-lighted.
(Losing light and delight.) - I made a sandwich with a magician. It disappeared.
(Magic act.) - I started a bird choir. It’s tweet harmony.
(Tweet and sweet.) - I had a tea party with owls. It was a real hoot.
(Hoot = laugh and owl sound.) - I painted my walls with jelly. Grape expectations.
(Grape and great.) - I got a robot dog. He has bionic bark.
(Bark and robotic.) - I built a sandcastle for ants. It’s tiny but grand.
(Tiny castle joke.) - I told a mushroom joke. It was spore-tacular.
(Spore and spectacular.) - I taught my turtle to tap dance. He’s slow but toe-tally cool.
(Toes and totally.) - I knitted with spaghetti. It unraveled quickly.
(Pasta pun.) - I wrote a story about cheese. It’s grate fiction.
(Grate and great.) - I got a balloon pet. It’s the light of my life.
(Lightweight joke.) - I took a nap in a bakery. I doughzed off.
(Dozed and dough.) - I made soup in a calculator. It didn’t add up.
(Math pun.) - I saw a bear play chess. He was paw-sitively smart.
(Paw and positively.) - I danced with a taco. Salsa time!
(Salsa = dance and dip.) - I told a ghost joke. It vanished in the air.
(Ghost pun.) - I drew a banana in art class. It was quite appealing.
(Appealing = attractive and peel.) - I got stuck in jelly. It was a jam-packed moment.
(Jam and tight situation.) - I visited a pun museum. It was a pun-derful experience.
(Pun and wonderful.) - I sent a love letter to chocolate. I’m cocoa for you.
(Cocoa and crazy.) - I adopted a frog. He ribbit-ed my heart.
(Ribbit and robbed.) - I named my squirrel “Nutflix.” He never stops watching.
(Nuts and Netflix.) - I bought a lemon clock. It’s sourly accurate.
(Sour and hourly.) - I made pancakes while roller skating. Syrup-slide!
(Syrup and slip-slide.) - I told a sun pun. It was bright humor.
(Sunshine and smart.) - I built a pirate ship from crackers. It was salty sailing.
(Salt and sea pun.) - I got a scarf from spaghetti. Noodle neckwear.
(Noodles and winter.) - I trained a cow to jump. It’s moo-ving up.
(Moo and moving.) - I adopted a bug who tells jokes. He’s a pun-derbug.
(Thunderbug and pun.) - I wrapped my sandwich in wrapping paper. It was a gift to my stomach.
(Gift pun.) - I had a race with ketchup. It couldn’t catch up.
(Ketchup and catch up.) - I hired a pancake as my manager. He stacks up well.
(Stack and performance.) - I wrote a book on pasta. It’s full of twisty tales.
(Twists and pasta.) - I bought a hat made of waffles. It’s syrup rising.
(Syrup and up.) - I built a rocket from marshmallows. It launched sweetly.
(Marshmallow and space.) - I played soccer with donuts. They had hole-y defense.
(Holes and holy.) - I put glitter on my fries. Now they’re sparkling spuds.
(Spuds and sparkle.)
Short Funny Puns With Meanings
- Don’t trust atoms—they make up everything.
(Atoms form matter and also “make up” lies.) - I donut care anymore.
(Donut sounds like “do not.”) - Lettuce romaine friends.
(Lettuce = let us, romaine = remain.) - I wheelie like bicycles.
(Wheelie = really and bike wheel.) - I’m pawsitive you’ll love this dog.
(Paws + positive.) - Olive you so much.
(Olive = I love.) - You’re one in a melon.
(Melon = million.) - I’m grape-ful for you.
(Grape = great + grateful.) - You’re tea-rific.
(Tea = terrific.) - I lava you.
(Lava = love ya.) - I’m soy into you.
(Soy = so.) - Don’t go bacon my heart.
(Bacon = breaking.) - You’ve got a latte problems.
(Latte = a lot of.) - Life’s gouda.
(Gouda = good.) - I can’t espresso how much you mean.
(Espresso = express.) - Let’s taco ‘bout it.
(Taco = talk.) - Fries before guys.
(Fries = priorities joke.) - I’m muffin without you.
(Muffin = nothing.) - Nacho average friend.
(Nacho = not your.) - That’s nacho cheese!
(Nacho = not your.) - You butter believe it.
(Butter = better.) - This is nacho problem.
(Nacho = not your.) - Pie like you.
(Pie = I.) - You make miso happy.
(Miso = me so.) - You’re un-brie-lievable.
(Brie = unbelievable.) - Let’s ketchup soon.
(Ketchup = catch up.) - You crack me up.
(Crack = laugh.) - I’m egg-cited!
(Egg = excited.) - That’s egg-cellent news.
(Egg = excellent.) - Yolk’s on you!
(Yolk = joke.) - I’m kind of a big dill.
(Dill = deal.) - Dill with it.
(Dill = deal.) - You’re dino-mite!
(Dino = dynamite.) - You’re roar-some!
(Roar + awesome.) - I can’t bear it.
(Bear = handle it.) - Whale, hello there.
(Whale = well.) - I’m otterly in love.
(Otter = utterly.) - Seal-ed with a kiss.
(Seal = sealed.) - Alpaca lunch!
(Alpaca = I’ll pack a.) - I’m llama-zed by you.
(Llama = amazed.) - I herd that.
(Herd = heard.) - I’ve got no egrets.
(Egrets = regrets.) - Owl always love you.
(Owl = I’ll.) - Toucan play at that game.
(Toucan = two can.) - You quack me up.
(Quack = crack.) - I’m batty about you.
(Batty = crazy.) - You’re claw-some!
(Claw = awesome.) - Bear with me.
(Bear = be patient.) - I’m feline good.
(Feline = feeling.) - Purr-haps you’re right.
(Purr = perhaps.) - Cat-ch you later.
(Cat = catch.) - Fur real?
(Fur = for.) - Let’s paws here.
(Paws = pause.) - I’m totally koalafied.
(Koala = qualified.) - Giraffing me crazy!
(Giraffe = driving.) - I’m giraffing at your joke.
(Giraffe = laughing.) - I can’t el-lephant how much I miss you.
(Elephant = even.) - Trunk you very much.
(Trunk = thank.) - I camel believe it!
(Camel = can’t.) - Hoof it over here!
(Hoof = move.) - I’m mooo-ving on.
(Moo = moving.) - Cow-nt me in.
(Cow = count.) - I’m udderly shocked.
(Udder = utterly.) - That’s pasture bedtime.
(Pasture = past your.) - Holy cow!
(Cow pun.) - Hay there!
(Hay = hey.) - I herd it through the bovine.
(Bovine = grapevine.) - You’ve goat to be kidding me!
(Goat = got.) - Let’s make ewe-turn.
(Ewe = U-turn.) - You rammed right into that one.
(Ram pun.) - I’ll sheep in on you later.
(Sheep = check.) - You’re my baa-e.
(Baa = bae.) - What the flock?
(Flock = group pun.) - Feeling sheepish.
(Sheep = shy.) - Let’s shell-ebrate!
(Shell = celebrate.) - You’re crab-tivating.
(Crab = captivating.) - Stop being so shellfish.
(Shellfish = selfish.) - You octopi my thoughts.
(Octopi = occupy.) - I’m hooked on you.
(Hooked = fishing pun.) - Cod you be mine?
(Cod = could.) - I’m reel-y into you.
(Reel = really.) - Whale done!
(Whale = well.) - Current-ly loving it.
(Current = electric or ocean.) - Eel-ing fine today.
(Eel = feeling.) - I sea what you did there.
(Sea = see.) - Water you waiting for?
(Water = what are.) - Don’t be koi about it.
(Koi = coy.) - Let minnow if you’re free.
(Minnow = let me know.) - That’s shrimply amazing!
(Shrimp = simply.) - Fish you were here.
(Fish = wish.) - Tuna in next time.
(Tune in = tuna.) - I’m shore you are.
(Shore = sure.) - Just beachy.
(Beach = peachy.) - Sandy cheeks!
(SpongeBob pun.) - I’m tide down.
(Tide = tied.) - Wave hello!
(Wave pun.) - Let’s sea-lebrate.
(Sea = celebrate.) - You’re swell.
(Swell = wave and nice.) - Pier pressure.
(Peer = pier.) - Float on!
(Float pun.) - Don’t be salty.
(Salty = bitter.) - I’m kraken up!
(Kraken = cracking.)
Read More: Funny Short Jokes That Will Keep You Laughing
Cheesy Puns with Meanings
- You cheddar believe it.
(Cheddar = better.) - Life is grate.
(Grate = great, as in cheese grater.) - I’m feeling bleu.
(Bleu = blue cheese + sadness.) - That’s nacho cheese!
(Nacho = not your.) - This might sound cheesy, but I’m fondue of you.
(Cheesy = corny, fondue = fond of you.) - You make me melt.
(Like melted cheese and falling in love.) - You’re looking sharp today.
(Sharp = attractive and sharp cheese.) - Don’t be so bleu about it.
(Bleu = blue, as in sad.) - Let’s brie friends forever.
(Brie = be.) - This party is off the rind.
(Rind = cheese skin, also wild.) - I’m having a gouda time.
(Gouda = good.) - Brie mine?
(Brie = be mine.) - You’re the big cheese.
(Big cheese = important person.) - Stop acting so feta up.
(Feta = fed up.) - Just in queso you didn’t know, I love you.
(Queso = case.) - I camembert the pain of being apart.
(Camembert = can’t bear.) - I’ll provolone-ly love you.
(Provolone = only.) - Cheese the day.
(Cheese = seize.) - That’s a muenster of a problem.
(Muenster = monster.) - You’re my main squeeze cheese.
(Cheese = dear.) - Let’s stick together like string cheese.
(String cheese = close bond.) - You’re grate company.
(Grate = great.) - I wheelie like cheese wheels.
(Wheel = wheel of cheese + really.) - Holy cow, that’s cheesy.
(Cow = source of milk for cheese.) - Ricotta get more of that!
(Ricotta = gotta.) - I’m feta up with your jokes.
(Feta = fed up.) - That’s a cheddar idea.
(Cheddar = better.) - I’m whey too excited.
(Whey = way, cheese by-product.) - Don’t curdle under pressure.
(Curdle = break under pressure.) - I’ve got the mooo-ves.
(Moo = cow sound.) - Say cheese and smile!
(Cheese = photo prompt and food.) - Let’s not string this along.
(String = string cheese, also delaying.) - Cheesus take the wheel.
(Cheesus = cheese pun on Jesus.) - You make everything butter.
(Butter = better.) - This is nacho average snack.
(Nacho = not your.) - I’m cheesin’ so hard right now.
(Cheesin’ = smiling.) - Sharp minds think alike.
(Sharp = cheese and intelligence.) - Let’s keep it rind and dandy.
(Rind = kind.) - I’ll never let you grater-go.
(Grater = greater + go.) - I melt every time I see you.
(Melt = romantic cheese pun.) - That’s how the cheese crumbles.
(Play on “cookie crumbles.”) - It’s whey cool.
(Whey = way.) - You crack me up like a cracker and cheese.
(Crack = laugh.) - Stay cheesy.
(Cheesy = corny and full of cheese.) - A slice of happiness.
(Cheese slice = joy.) - Age doesn’t matter, unless you’re cheese.
(Cheese gets better with age.) - Cheesecake my day.
(Cheesecake = made my day.) - Don’t brie so hard on yourself.
(Brie = be.) - Everything’s better with cheddar.
(Cheddar = better.) - You’ve stolen a pizza my heart.
(Pizza has cheese and pun on “piece.”) - I wheelie love you.
(Wheel = wheel of cheese.) - Life’s too short to eat bad cheese.
(Quality over quantity.) - I curd hardly wait.
(Curd = could.) - That pun was extra sharp.
(Sharp = witty + cheese.) - Crumbs! That was cheesy.
(Crackers and cheese pun.) - You’re my cream of the crop.
(Cream = dairy.) - I’ve got the queso winning attitude.
(Queso = case of.) - Let’s cut the cheese.
(Common idiom and literal pun.) - Dairy you to say no.
(Dare you.) - Muenster up some courage.
(Muenster = muster.) - Cheese to meet you!
(Cheese = pleased.) - Cheese up, buttercup.
(Cheer up pun.) - That’s wheelie amazing.
(Wheel = round cheese.) - Just keep cheesin’.
(Smile on.) - I’m absolutely fondue’d of you.
(Fondue = fond.) - You’re the curd of my dreams.
(Curd = heart.) - I’m not lactose intolerant, I’m lactose obsessed.
(Wordplay on obsession.) - Cheddar late than never.
(Better late than never.) - Don’t be bleu, be brie-ght.
(Bleu = blue, brie = bright.) - My love for cheese is un-brie-lievable.
(Brie = unbelievable.) - Things are looking grate again.
(Grate = great.) - Cheesus crust! That’s good!
(Play on “Jesus Christ” and pizza crust.) - I’m having a dairy good day.
(Dairy = very.) - Let’s cheese the moment.
(Cheese = seize.) - I feta than ever.
(Feta = feel better.) - What’s the big dill with cheese?
(Dill = deal.) - Life without cheese is nacho life.
(Not your = nacho.) - It’s hard to top that, unless it’s melted cheese.
(Cheese topping.) - It’s whey too gouda to be true.
(Gouda = good.) - You’re making me feel bleu-tiful.
(Bleu = beautiful.) - You queso the truth!
(Queso = case.) - Cheddar luck next time.
(Better luck next time.) - I camembert to be without you.
(Can’t bear.) - Don’t grater on my nerves.
(Grater = grate.) - You make life cheddar.
(Cheddar = better.) - I’m totally brie-lliant today.
(Brie = brilliant.) - You’ve earned a cheesiest smile award.
(Cheesy smile.) - Keep your curds together.
(Curds = composure.) - You’d make a gouda detective.
(Gouda = good-a.) - Queso emergency, break out the cheese.
(Queso = in case of.) - You’re wheel-y special.
(Wheel = cheese.) - Stop milking it.
(Milk = dairy pun.) - The joke was whey over my head.
(Whey = way.) - You butter brie-lieve it.
(Butter = better + brie.) - Grate minds eat cheese alike.
(Great = grate.) - I’m in a cheddar mood.
(Cheddar = better.) - A little cheese goes a long whey.
(Whey = way.) - Spread the cheese, not the hate.
(Cheese spreads.) - I’m melting with excitement.
(Melted cheese pun.) - That cheese pun was goud-awful.
(Gouda = good + awful.) - Don’t brie a stranger.
(Be = brie.) - You crack-ered me up with that cheese joke.
(Cracker + laughter.)
Hilarious Puns with Meanings
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
(Anti-gravity makes things float.) - I’d tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.
(Construction = building, also the joke isn’t ready.) - I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
(Play by ear = without music sheets.) - I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
(Seafood = see food.) - I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
(Dawn = realization and sunrise.) - I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
(Amnesia = memory loss.) - I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
(Laced = drugs and shoelaces.) - I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
(Grew on me = started liking.) - I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.
(Steps = literal and figurative.) - I’d tell a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
(Chemistry = chemical reactions.) - Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
(Make up = constitute and lie.) - I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
(Kneaded = needed and kneading bread.) - I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
(Stairs = rise.) - I’m reading a book about teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
(Take me places = travel and life improvement.) - I used to be indecisive, now I’m not sure.
(Indecisive = unable to decide.) - I bought a ceiling fan. Complete waste—he just stands there applauding.
(Fan = machine and supporter.) - I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
(Brake fluid = car fluid, and pun on quitting.) - I started a band called 1023MB. We haven’t gotten a gig yet.
(Gig = performance and digital storage.) - I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
(Dyed = died.) - I used to work for a blanket factory, but it folded.
(Folded = bankrupt and blanket pun.) - I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
(Paranoia = fear someone’s watching.) - I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.
(Waist = waste.) - The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
(Ground-breaking = innovative and literal.) - I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang, but it came back to me.
(Came back = memory and boomerang.) - I wanted to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
(Dough = money and bread.) - I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
(Lost interest = boredom and financial.) - Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
(Wordplay with “flies.”) - My math teacher called me average. How mean!
(Mean = average.) - I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, but then it struck me.
(Struck = realization and lightning.) - I used to be a shoe salesman, but I just couldn’t heel with it.
(Heel = handle.) - I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
(Baggage = luggage and trauma.) - I opened a bakery because I kneaded a change.
(Kneaded = needed.) - No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationary.
(Stationary = not moving and office supplies.) - I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. I took it to another level.
(Took to another level = advanced and literal.) - I couldn’t figure out how to fix my seatbelt, then it just clicked.
(Clicked = sudden realization.) - I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
(Back stabbers = literal and metaphorical.) - I named my dog Five Miles so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
(Wordplay on name.) - My friend’s bakery burned down. Now his business is toast.
(Toast = ruined.) - I wrote a song about a tortilla. Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
(Wrap = music and food.) - I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home all the signs were there.
(Signs = literal and clues.) - I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
(Missed = mist.) - I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but I turned myself around.
(Turned around = dance move and recovery.) - I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
(Hit = literal and realization.) - My printer’s name is Bob Marley because it’s always jammin’.
(Jam = music and paper jams.) - I hate jokes about German sausages. They’re the wurst.
(Wurst = worst.) - I tried taking up origami, but it’s too much to fold under pressure.
(Fold = stress and paper folding.) - I gave all my dead batteries away. Free of charge.
(Free of charge = no cost.) - I didn’t buy anything with Velcro—it was a total rip-off.
(Rip-off = scam and Velcro.) - I’m not a fan of spring cleaning. Let’s be honest, I’m not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either.
(Seasonal humor.) - I made a pun about the wind but it blows.
(Blows = sucks and wind pun.) - I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings. It’s a complex complex complex.
(Triple pun on “complex.”) - I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
(Soft = not hard and soda.) - My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said “40.”
(Rounding numbers pun.) - I gave up my seat to an elderly person on the bus. That’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.
(Unexpected twist.) - I’m friends with all electricians. We have good current connections.
(Current = electricity and friendship.) - Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
(Repeat included for continuity with electric version.) - A bicycle can’t stand on its own. It’s two-tired.
(Too tired = two-tired.) - The man who invented knock-knock jokes won the ‘no-bell’ prize.
(No-bell = Nobel.) - Don’t trust artists. They’re sketchy.
(Sketchy = shady and sketch drawing.) - I was going to make a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
(Future response gag.) - I got a job as a professional cricket impersonator. It’s not much, but it’s a living.
(Crickets = silence = subtle.) - Being a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
(Mis-steak = mistake.) - I’m terrible at math, but I hear 4 out of 3 people struggle with it.
(4 out of 3 = exaggerated error.) - I got a new job at the calendar factory but I got fired for taking days off.
(Days off = calendar.) - Velcro—what a rip-off!
(Repeat with emphasis on delivery.) - I’m reading a book on glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
(Glue = stick to book.) - I didn’t want to believe my sofa could fly, but then it took off.
(Took off = flight and success.) - I’ve got a friend who’s a baker. He’s always loafing around.
(Loaf = bread pun.) - I once dated an electrician. She had a real spark.
(Spark = electricity and chemistry.) - I never trust stairs—they’re always leading you up.
(Similar theme.) - I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament—but good players are hard to find.
(Hide and seek pun.) - I named my cat “keyboard” so I can say I’m typing with a keyboard on my lap.
(Name wordplay.) - The guy who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.
(Hello = hell.) - I’ve been thinking about getting into meditation. It’s a sit-uation.
(Sit = sit down and situation.) - I once worked at a deli. I couldn’t cut the mustard.
(Couldn’t perform.) - I don’t like facial hair—but then again, it grows on you.
(Reused for laughs.) - My imaginary friend says you have serious issues.
(Meta humor.) - I quit my job as a banker. I lost interest.
(Money pun.) - I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.
(On the other hand = pun.) - My friend wants to become an archaeologist, but his life is in ruins.
(Ruins = ancient sites and disaster.) - The kleptomaniac didn’t understand any puns. He took everything literally.
(Literally = pun.) - I used to date an opera singer, but she always brought drama.
(Opera = drama.) - Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.
(Love = score of zero.) - I don’t know karate, but I know ka-raise-a-kid.
(Dad joke level pun.) - I once had a job crushing cans—it was soda pressing.
(Soda pressing = so depressing.) - I met a guy who’s a mushroom. He’s a fungi to be with.
(Fungi = fun guy.) - I failed as a mime. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
(Mime = silent.) - The magician got frustrated and pulled his hare out.
(Hare = hair.) - I’m very good at my job at the orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate.
(Concentrate = juice and focus.) - I opened a new gym called “Resolutions.” It only operates in January.
(New Year’s pun.) - I wrote a book on reverse psychology—don’t buy it.
(Reverse psychology gag.) - I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
(Kicks = fun and ball kicks.) - The bakery caught fire. The bread was toast.
(Toast = ruined.) - I finally bought a new thesaurus, but all the pages were blank. I have no words.
(No words = stunned.) - I burned my Hawaiian pizza—should’ve used aloha temperature.
(Aloha = hello/goodbye and pun.) - I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
(Surprised = literal.) - I made a pun about vegetables. It was corny.
(Corn = vegetable and cheesy.) - I fell asleep while ironing. Now I’m pressed for time.
(Pressed = iron and rushed.) - I became a baker because I couldn’t make enough dough as a musician.
(Dough = money.) - I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
(Slow = literal and metaphorical.) - I was going to become a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
(Patients = patience.)
Jokes So Bad They’re Good with Meanings
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
(Impasta sounds like imposter.) - Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
(Salad dressing sounds like undressing.) - How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
(Igloos sounds like “it glues.”) - What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
(Frost + bite = cold injury.) - What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
(Nacho sounds like “not your.”) - Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
(A foot = 12 inches.) - How do you catch a whole school of fish? With bookworms.
(Play on fish and school/books.) - I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
(Dough = money.) - Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
(Outstanding = excellent and standing outside.) - I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
(“Y” sounds like “why.”) - Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
(Shellfish = selfish.) - What happens when you witness a ship wreck? You let it sink in.
(Sink in = realize.) - I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
(Surprised look = raised eyebrows.) - What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
(Investigator = in a vest.) - What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
(8 looks like 0 with a belt.) - What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
(Waist = waste.) - Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
(Spotted = visible and has spots.) - I was going to tell you a time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
(Future punchline.) - Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
(Hole in one = golfing term and literal hole.) - I wanted to be an astronaut, but my career never took off.
(Took off = launch and failed.) - Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
(Mugged = attacked and coffee mug.) - I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
(Play by ear = without sheet music.) - Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
(Work out = exercise and succeed.) - Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
(Guts = courage and internal organs.) - I told my dog to play dead. Now he’s just lazy.
(Play dead vs being inactive.) - Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
(Peeling = feeling.) - Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
(Honeycomb = hair comb.) - Why can’t you trust an atom? They make up everything.
(Make up = create and lie.) - I had a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
(Under construction.) - Why are elevator jokes so classic? They work on many levels.
(Multiple levels = floors and meanings.) - What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
(Wine = whine.) - Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels.
(Bay + gull = bagel.) - What happens to frogs parked illegally? They get toad.
(Toad = towed.) - What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
(Rhyming gag.) - I ate a clock yesterday. It was time-consuming.
(Time-consuming = literal and idiom.) - Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had drumsticks.
(Drumsticks = chicken legs and instrument.) - How do you organize a space party? You planet.
(Planet = plan it.) - What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
(Wrap = rap.) - Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
(Too tired = two tires.) - What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
(Can’t = pun on can.) - What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
(Meow + mountain.) - What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
(Dozer = napper.) - Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
(Silent letter P.) - What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
(Sounds like surprise.) - I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.
(Got over = faced fear and jumped.) - What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
(Waved = gesture and tide.) - What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
(Sneak = stealth.) - What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
(Simple misdirection.) - Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It felt crumby.
(Crumby = lousy and crumb-covered.) - Why was the stadium so cool? It was filled with fans.
(Fans = cooling and supporters.) - What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
(Palm = hand and tree.) - What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
(Irrelevant.) - What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
(Walls meet at corners.) - Why did the man run around his bed? He was trying to catch up on sleep.
(Catch up = catch and regain.) - Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he’s a fungi.
(Fungi = fun guy.) - What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
(Blood theme.) - What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.
(Bone pun.) - Why don’t cows wear shoes? Because they lactose.
(Lack toes = lactose.) - What kind of pants does Mario wear? Denim-denim-denim.
(Sound mimic joke.) - Why did the cow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
(Double meaning.) - What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
(Gummy = candy and no teeth.) - What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
(Couch potato.) - Why did the crab never share? Because he was shellfish.
(Selfish.) - Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because you can see right through them.
(See through = transparent.) - What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
(A head = ahead.) - What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.
(Melted snowman.) - Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
(Problems = math and emotional.) - How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
(Eclipse = clips.) - Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.
(No body = nobody.) - Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
(Silly twist.) - What does a lemon say when it answers the phone? Yellow.
(Sounds like hello.) - What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud.
(Bud = friend and flower.) - How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints.
(Mints = breath freshener.) - Why did the barber win the race? He knew all the short cuts.
(Short cuts = paths and hair.) - What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
(Spoiled = pampered and rotten.) - Why do bicycles fall over? Because they’re two-tired.
(Too tired.) - What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.
(Dam = water block and expletive.) - Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town? They don’t have the guts.
(Reused with different delivery.) - What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
(Silent “i”.) - Why did the dog sit in the shade? Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog.
(Hot dog = overheated and food.) - Why did the banana get promoted? It had appeal.
(Appeal = charm and pun on peel.) - What did the horse say after it tripped? Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
(Giddy up = get up and horse term.) - How do cows do math? With a cowculator.
(Calculator pun.) - Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
(Bottom = rear end.) - What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
(Sweethearts.) - Why was the broom late? It swept in.
(Slept in = swept.) - What did the egg say to the frying pan? You crack me up.
(Crack = laugh and break.) - What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
(Purr + purple.) - What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
(Reused with crossover meaning.) - What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
(Ice cream.) - Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
(Holding up = support and robbing.) - Why do ducks have tail feathers? To cover their buttquacks.
(Butt cracks.) - Why did the pencil get a break? It was feeling pointless.
(No point.) - What do you get when you cross a tree with a computer? Logging in.
(Logging = tree cut and sign in.) - What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
(Silly and literal.) - Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
(Crack up = laugh.) - How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
(Boogie = dance and nose.) - What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
(On the ground.) - Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice.
(Juice = power.) - What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
(Parsley = Presley.) - What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
(Spear shake = Shakespeare.)
Daily Puns with Meanings
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
(Guts = courage and internal organs.) - I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
(Anti-gravity = something that can’t be set down.) - I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
(Play by ear = play without sheet music.) - Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
(Salad dressing sounds like undressing.) - Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
(Mugged = attacked and coffee mug.) - What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
(Ahead = literal and ahead of the game.) - Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
(Shellfish = selfish.) - Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
(Problems = both math and emotional.) - I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
(Dough = money and flour mixture.) - Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
(Work out = exercise and succeed.) - What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
(Abdominal = stomach muscles.) - Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
(Lactose = cows produce milk and lack toes.) - How do you organize a space party? You planet.
(Planet = plan it.) - I had a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
(Under construction.) - Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
(Silly twist.) - What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
(Gummy = candy and no teeth.) - What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
(Investigator = in a vest.) - Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had drumsticks.
(Drumsticks = chicken legs and music.) - How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
(Igloos sounds like “it glues.”) - What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
(Silent “i.”) - What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
(Meow + mountain.) - Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
(Tired = both exhausted and tires.) - Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
(A foot = 12 inches.) - I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.
(Got over = faced and jumped.) - Why did the cow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
(Outstanding = both excellent and standing outside.) - What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
(Nacho = not your.) - Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels.
(Bay + gull = bagel.) - Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
(Outstanding = excellent and standing in a field.) - I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
(“Y” sounds like “why.”) - What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
(Walls meet at corners.) - Why was the broom late? It swept in.
(Swept = action and meaning of “showed up.”) - Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town? They don’t have the guts.
(Reused with different delivery.) - What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.
(Melted snowman.) - What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
(Couch potato.) - Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
(Honeycomb = hair comb.) - Why did the man run around his bed? He was trying to catch up on sleep.
(Catch up = regain and run.) - Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
(Hole in one = golfing term and literal hole.) - What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
(Parsley = Presley.) - Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
(Peeling = feeling.) - How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints.
(Mints = breath freshener.) - What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
(Wine = whine.) - Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
(Two-tired = tired and having two tires.) - What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
(Investigator = alligator in a vest.) - I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
(Play by ear = playing without sheet music.) - What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
(Parrot and carrot sound alike.) - Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
(Work out = exercise and relationships.) - Why do elephants never use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse.
(Mouse = computer device and animal.) - I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
(Surprised = raised eyebrows.) - What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
(Waved = literal and ocean wave.) - Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
(Skeletons don’t have internal organs or courage.) - How do cows stay up to date with current events? They read the moos-paper.
(Moos-paper = newspaper.) - Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
(Problems = math and emotional.) - How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
(Igloos = glues it.) - Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
(Windows = software and literal windows.) - I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
(Seafood = sounds like I eat food.) - Why do chickens go to the comedy show? Because they like to crack up.
(Crack up = laugh.) - What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
(Live stream = watching and fishing.) - Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
(Crack = break and laugh.) - Why did the golfer bring an extra shirt? In case he got a hole in one.
(Hole in one = golfing term.) - Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
(Silent letter P.) - How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
(Boogie = dance and nose.) - What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
(Supplies = surprise.) - Why don’t some fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish.
(Tuna = tune.) - What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?
(Carrot noses for snowmen.) - Why was the stadium so cool? It was filled with fans.
(Fans = cooling devices and people.) - Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
(Outstanding = excellent and in the field.) - What did one pencil say to the other? You’re looking sharp.
(Sharp = both looks and pencil tip.) - Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It felt crumby.
(Crumby = feeling bad and literal crumbs.) - What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
(Meow + mountain.) - How do cows do math? With a cowculator.
(Calculator + cow.) - Why did the chicken sit in the middle of the road? She wanted to lay it on the line.
(Lay it on the line = be honest and chicken laying eggs.) - Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback.
(Quarterback = football position and money.) - What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
(Vampire + snowman = cold injury.) - Why did the computer catch a cold? It had a virus.
(Computer virus.) - Why don’t you ever trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
(Up to something = suspicious.) - What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
(Sweethearts + tweet.) - How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
(Boil + heaven and hell.) - What did one frog say to the other? Time’s fun when you’re having flies.
(Fun = time flies and flies for frogs.) - What did one pencil say to the other pencil? You’re looking sharp.
(Sharp = pencil and compliments.) - Why can’t you trust an atom? They make up everything.
(Atoms make up everything literally and figuratively.) - Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets.
(Liquid assets = money and blending.) - What did the door say to the doorknob? You turn me on.
(Turn = both opening and compliment.) - What did the nut say to the bolt? I’m nuts about you!
(Nuts and bolts, both mechanical and romantic.) - What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
(Sneak = stealthy shoes.) - Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
(Peeling = feeling.) - What did the apple say to the banana? You’re the top banana.
(Top banana = best.) - How do you organize a space party? You planet.
(Planet = plan it.) - Why don’t skeletons go to parties? They have no body to go with.
(No body = nobody.) - What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud.
(Bud = both flower and friend.) - Why don’t you ever hear a bad joke? Because good jokes always “pun”ish.
(Pun + punish.) - What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
(Couch potato.) - What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
(Irrelevant.) - Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
(Tired = sleepy and tires.) - What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me.
(Lunch = food and being paid for.) - What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
(Blood theme.) - What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
(Live stream = fishing and video.) - How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
(Boil = heaven and hell.) - What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
(Wave = ocean wave and hello.) - How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints.
(Mints = fresh breath and experiments.) - Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with.
(No body = nobody.)
Good Funny Puns with Meanings
- I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
(Stairs go upward and the phrase means “suspicious.”) - I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
(Wordplay on “seafood” and “see food.”) - I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
(Interest in banking and boredom.) - I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. I took it to another level.
(“Taking it to another level” is literal and metaphorical.) - My pencil isn’t broken, it’s just pointless.
(Pointless means both “dull” and “meaningless.”) - The bakery caught fire. The bread was toast.
(“Toast” means both cooked and destroyed.) - I gave all my dead batteries away. Free of charge.
(Free of charge means both no cost and no electricity.) - I had a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
(A time travel joke implies future knowledge.) - I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, but then it struck me.
(“Struck me” means both realization and literal lightning.) - I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
(“Clean” means drug-free and physically clean.) - I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
(Dawned means both morning and realization.) - I know a guy who’s a professional cricket player. He’s got a lot of wickets under his belt.
(Wickets as in achievements and cricket.) - I wanted to be an astronaut but my career never took off.
(“Took off” refers to a rocket launch and success.) - I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily it was a soft drink.
(“Soft drink” means it wasn’t hard.) - I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
(“Mist” sounds like missed and means fog.) - I bought a boat because I wanted to sea the world.
(“Sea” sounds like “see.”) - I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
(Anti-gravity resists force, punning on addictive reading.) - I know a lot of jokes about retired people… but none of them work.
(“Work” refers to employment and functioning jokes.) - I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
(“Dyed” plays on “died.”) - I named my dog Five Miles so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
(Wordplay on dog’s name and exercise.) - I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
(“Grew on me” means developed affection.) - I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. So she hugged me.
(Mistake refers to the husband.) - I was going to tell you a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
(Construction and unfinished joke.) - I just got a job as a human cannonball. The circus said it was a blast.
(“Blast” means fun and explosive.) - The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran.
(Seasoned means experienced and contains spices.) - I used to be a baker until I couldn’t make enough dough.
(Dough means both money and bread mix.) - Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
(Atoms form matter and “make up” can mean lie.) - I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
(Hit me means realization and literal contact.) - When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.
(“You’re in trouble” sounds like “urine trouble.”) - I couldn’t find my socks, so I had to toe the line.
(“Toe the line” means conforming and literally toes.) - I once told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
(Chemical reaction and audience response.) - A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
(Hard to beat means tough to surpass and a hard egg.) - I’m friends with all electricians. We have good current connections.
(Current = electric flow and relationship.) - I bought a ceiling fan. Complete waste of money. All it does is stand there and applaud.
(Fan = machine and supporter.) - I accidentally drove my car into a lake. It was an auto-matic mistake.
(Automatic car and automatic error.) - I stayed up all night trying to figure out where the stars went. They must have called in night-off.
(Play on “night off” and disappearance.) - I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
(Ear = skill by sound, literal hands for piano.) - I broke my arm in two places. The doctor told me to stop going to those places.
(Joke on bad places and injury.) - I bought a thesaurus but when I got home, all the pages were blank. I had no words.
(No words = no synonyms.) - I once knew a guy who got crushed by a pile of books. He only had his shelf to blame.
(Shelf = self.) - I named my pet rock Dwayne.
(Rock reference to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.) - The bike couldn’t stand on its own because it was two-tired.
(Too tired and two tires.) - I told a joke about a pencil, but it had no point.
(No point = literal and figurative.) - I met a guy who’s a blacksmith. He’s striking.
(Striking = attractive and forging metal.) - I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
(Slowly over speed bumps and overcoming fear.) - I once knew a baker who couldn’t make bread. He just loafed around.
(Loaf = bread and being lazy.) - I tried to make a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.
(Waist and waste.) - I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
(Syncing = data and sinking.) - I went to buy camouflage pants but I couldn’t find them.
(Camouflage = hard to see.) - I opened a bakery. My business is on the rise.
(Rise = success and dough rising.) - My pet turtle is a real shell-ebrity.
(Shell and celebrity.) - I don’t play soccer because I enjoy kicking back instead.
(Kicking = soccer and relaxing.) - I’ve got a great joke about umbrellas, but it might go over your head.
(Over your head = missed meaning.) - I was going to tell you a joke about paper, but it’s tearable.
(Tearable = terrible and able to tear.) - The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
(Hare = hair and rabbit.) - I named my dog Wi-Fi because we always connect.
(Connection with pet and internet.) - The bakery is short-staffed, so I kneaded dough.
(Kneaded = need and work with dough.) - I started a band called 1023MB. We haven’t gotten a gig yet.
(Gig = show and gigabyte.) - The beekeeper was stingy.
(Stingy = selfish and stinger.) - I got locked out of my house and it was riveting. I was totally keyed up.
(Keyed up = anxious and keys.) - I’m terrible at math, but I hear calculus is a derivative of algebra.
(Derivative = math term and meaning.) - I used to work at a blanket factory, but it folded.
(Folded = failed and blankets.) - My calendar is full of dates.
(Dates = time and romantic.) - I dropped my phone in the sink and now it’s syncing.
(Syncing = water and data.) - I invented a new word: plagiarism.
(Joke on stealing words.) - I went to a concert of classical fish music. It was conducted by Tuna.
(Tuna = tune and fish.) - My friend said onions are the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at him.
(Literal and absurd twist.) - I used to be a shoe salesman, but I got the boot.
(The boot = fired and shoe.) - I don’t trust gardeners. They’re always up to something shady.
(Shady = tree shade and suspicious.) - The grape didn’t say anything when it got stepped on, but it let out a little whine.
(Whine = wine and complaint.) - I once worked at a door factory. It was a swinging job.
(Swinging doors and cool.) - The ski resort is going downhill fast.
(Downhill = literally and poorly.) - I wanted to be a vet, but I didn’t have the patients.
(Patients and patience.) - I just got a job at the orange juice factory, but I got canned.
(Canned = fired and juice can.) - I got a job at the bakery because I kneaded dough.
(Repeated in a new way.) - I spilled herbs all over the floor. Now I’m feeling thyme-less.
(Thyme = time.) - I joined a band called Blanket. We cover everything.
(Cover = music and blankets.) - I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
(“Y” and why.) - My friend got crushed by a piano. He was feeling flat.
(Flat = musical note and shape.) - I don’t trust math teachers who graph. They’re always plotting something.
(Plotting = graphing and scheming.) - I told my clock a joke, but it just second-handed me.
(Second-hand = dismissive and clock part.) - I tried taking a selfie with my coffee, but it was too latte.
(Latte = late and drink.) - The graveyard was overcrowded. People were dying to get in.
(Dying = eager and literal death.) - I made a pun about vegetables. It was corny.
(Corn = cheesy.) - I once met a baker who was a real whisk taker.
(Whisk = risk and tool.) - I was going to tell you about my broken pencil, but there’s no point.
(Dual meaning.) - The balloon popped unexpectedly. It was a blow to the party.
(Blow = setback and literal pop.) - I tried to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but it was hard to find good players.
(Find = locate and play.) - I tripped over my shoelaces. It was a tie breaker.
(Tie = draw and laces.) - My cat’s favorite color is purr-ple.
(Purr and purple.) - My computer sings a lot. It’s got great megahertz.
(Megahertz = sound and memory.) - I opened a gym for ghosts. It’s called “Fitness Boo-tique.”
(Boo and boutique.) - I took a job at the mirror factory. I could really see myself there.
(See myself = reflection and future.) - I once made a belt out of watches. It was a timely fashion.
(Timely = stylish and punctual.) - I got caught stealing calendars. I got twelve months.
(Twelve months = punishment and calendar.) - I met a whale who could play guitar. It was a whale of a performance.
(Whale = impressive and actual animal.) - My vacuum cleaner just broke. It sucks.
(Sucks = slang and literal function.) - I told my pillow a secret. It’s a good place to rest my case.
(Rest my case = legal and sleeping.) - I opened a pet grooming business. It’s a pawsitive experience.
(Paws and positive.) - I used to date a baker. She was a real sweetie pie.
(Pie and term of endearment.) - I dropped my toothpaste. I guess you could say it was a brush with disaster.
(Brush = toothbrush and close call.)
Cool Funny Puns with Meanings
- I told my suitcase we’re not going on vacation. Now it’s dealing with emotional baggage.
(Emotional baggage is both literal and metaphorical.) - I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
(Paranoia is the fear of being watched.) - I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
(Obviously, but sounds like bragging.) - I went to a karaoke bar and made a mic-drop. They banned me.
(Mic drop is dramatic, but literally dropping it got me banned.) - My shoes are too tight, but I’m not one to be de-feeted.
(Defeated and de-feeted play on words.) - I opened a lemonade stand in winter. Business froze.
(Froze means cold and stalled.) - I gave away all my watches. I had too much time on my hands.
(Having time and wearing watches.) - The drum set fell down the stairs. It made a big cymbal crash.
(Cymbal crash and symbol crash.) - I brought a ladder to the bar. I heard the drinks were on the house.
(On the house means free and literally on the roof.) - I’m writing a book on reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.
(Reverse psychology is doing the opposite.) - I asked the dog for a high-five. He said “paws off.”
(Paws and pause.) - I started a bakery for cats. It’s called Purrfect Pastries.
(Purrfect plays on perfect and cat purring.) - I got a job at a frozen food company. I’m chilling.
(Chilling means relaxing and literally cold.) - I entered a pun contest with ten entries. No pun in ten did.
(Sounds like “no pun intended.”) - I told my plants jokes. They said I needed to weed out the bad ones.
(Weed out means remove.) - I ran into a lamppost. It was a light mistake.
(Light as in minor and literal lamp.) - I invested in origami stocks. They folded.
(Folded as in failed and paper folding.) - I can’t date calendars. They’re too full of themselves.
(Full of dates and arrogance.) - I wanted to be a baker, but I couldn’t rise to the occasion.
(Rise = bread and pressure.) - My belt broke. It was a waist of time.
(Waist and waste.) - I auditioned for the band as a triangle player. They said I didn’t make the cut.
(Make the cut and shape pun.) - I tried camping once, but it was in-tents.
(Intense and in tents.) - I started a business selling invisible ink. I’m still waiting for the write-off.
(Write-off = expense and writing.) - I named my Wi-Fi “Nacho Network.” It’s nacho connection.
(Nacho = not your.) - I tried to become a skeleton comedian, but I had no body to support me.
(No body = nobody.) - I used to date a tennis player, but love meant nothing to them.
(Love = zero in tennis.) - I told my guitar I loved it. It said, “Stop stringing me along.”
(Stringing along = teasing.) - I’ve started a company breeding rabbits. I’m in it for the hare money.
(Hare = hair and pun on profit.) - My therapist says I have a pun addiction. I said, “Word.”
(Word = agreement and pun.) - I never trust snowmen. They give me the cold shoulder.
(Cold shoulder = ignoring and literally cold.) - I opened a sushi restaurant called “Wok This Way.”
(Wok and rock pun.) - I took a selfie with my coffee. We’re mug buddies.
(Mug = cup and face.) - I started collecting old vinyls. It’s a sound investment.
(Sound = audio and reliable.) - I joined a mirror appreciation club. Reflecting on it, it was a good choice.
(Reflecting = thought and literal.) - I got a job at a candle store. I make scents now.
(Scents = sense and smell.) - I tried to play hide and seek in the fog. I mist my chance.
(Mist = missed.) - I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
(Literal and metaphorical.) - I told my shoes they were untied. They flipped out.
(Flipped out = freaked and flipped shoes.) - I love my new blanket. It’s the best cover story.
(Cover story = excuse and blanket.) - I was going to take a job as a baker, but the hours were crumby.
(Crummy = bad and bread crumbs.) - My computer is fast—it leaves no byte behind.
(Byte = computer memory and bite.) - I once fell in love with a calendar. Our dates were perfect.
(Dates = outings and calendar entries.) - I tried stand-up comedy. The audience didn’t sit well with it.
(Sit well = accept.) - I went to an art show. It drew a crowd.
(Drew = attracted and drawing.) - I started investing in watches. It’s about time.
(Time and timing pun.) - My cat got a job. She’s working on her purr-suit of happiness.
(Purr-suit = pursuit.) - I asked my fridge if it’s running. It said, “Cool it.”
(Cool = chill and calm.) - I finally found where the sun hides at night. It’s solar secret.
(Solar and sole.) - I stayed up all night counting sheep. It was un-baa-lievable.
(Baa = sheep sound.) - I wanted to be an archaeologist, but my career was in ruins.
(Ruins = ruins and failure.) - I was going to write a pun about sodium, but Na.
(Na = chemical and “nah.”) - I can’t find my musical instruments. They must be in treble.
(Treble = trouble.) - I got a new job as a baker. I’m rolling in dough.
(Dough = bread and money.) - I tried to be a professional sunbather, but I burned out.
(Burned out = tired and sunburn.) - I opened a locksmith shop. It’s key to my success.
(Key = important and literal.) - I started a dog grooming service. Business is paws-itively booming.
(Paws and positively.) - I once dated an electrician. She sparked my interest.
(Sparked = attraction and electric.) - I started writing ghost stories. They’re hauntingly good.
(Haunting = spooky and lasting.) - I joined a music class. My timing was instrumental.
(Instrumental = crucial and music.) - I told a joke at the ocean. It made a splash.
(Splash = big effect and water.) - My blender broke, and now I’m shaken.
(Shaken = disturbed and blender.) - I told my alarm clock a joke. It snoozed through it.
(Snooze = miss and sleep.) - I took up fencing. I’m on the edge now.
(Edge = danger and sword.) - I bought a fake noodle. It was an impasta.
(Impasta = impostor.) - I joined a bakery cult. We knead each other.
(Knead = need.) - I wanted to try beekeeping, but I couldn’t hive enough time.
(Hive = have.) - I made a playlist for hiking. It rocks.
(Rocks = music and mountains.) - I opened a gym for skeletons. It’s called Bone to Be Wild.
(Bone and Born to Be Wild.) - I tried cooking with thyme, but I ran out. It was a total waste of thyme.
(Thyme = time.) - I started dating a keyboardist. It just clicked.
(Clicked = connection and keyboard.) - I entered a cooking contest. The stakes were high.
(Steaks and stakes.) - I opened a coffee shop for wizards. It’s brew-tiful.
(Brew and beautiful.) - I told my camera we had a good shot.
(Good shot = photo and chance.) - I opened a cereal bar. It’s a bowl move.
(Bold and bowl.) - I got a sunburn at the art museum. I blame the brush strokes.
(Brush = paint and skin.) - I bought a boat. It’s my current obsession.
(Current = water and present.) - I dated a mathematician once. It didn’t add up.
(Didn’t work out and math.) - I bought a silent alarm clock. It’s unheard of.
(Unheard of = rare and literal.) - I joined a dance team. I’ve got all the right moves.
(Moves = steps and strategy.) - I started knitting at night. It’s sew relaxing.
(Sew = so.) - I got a fan for my room. Now I’m cooler than ever.
(Cooler = temperature and style.) - I’m friends with a cloud. It’s a real drip.
(Drip = boring and rain.) - I went to the desert with a spoon. I was looking for dry humor.
(Dry = no water and style of comedy.) - I asked a vampire for directions. He said, “I won’t bite.”
(Bite = literal and assurance.) - I started a seafood club. We shellabrate weekly.
(Shell and celebrate.) - I took a math test on angles. I had a right answer.
(Right angle and correct.) - I dated a baker once. She was a whisk taker.
(Whisk and risk.) - I tried to be a mime. Words failed me.
(Failed to speak and failed in general.) - I joined a bubble-wrap club. It’s popping.
(Popping = popular.) - I got a beehive haircut. It was the buzz.
(Buzz = news and bees.) - I played chess with my cat. He said, “Check meowt.”
(Check me out and meow.) - I opened a bookstore for pirates. It’s called “Readbeard’s.”
(Play on Redbeard.) - I took my car to the orchestra. It needed a tune-up.
(Tune-up and music.) - I went to a pasta convention. It was pre-pasta-rous.
(Preposterous and pasta.) - I wore sunglasses in the shower. I wanted to reflect.
(Reflect = think and mirror.) - I drank coffee on the rooftop. It was a brew with a view.
(Brew and view.) - I joined a secret pancake society. We meet in stacks.
(Stacks = pancakes and groups.) - I saw a crab at the library. It was well-read.
(Well-read = intelligent and claws.) - I started a plant podcast. It’s growing fast.
(Growing = increasing and literal.) - I told my shoes a joke. They sole-d out laughing.
(Sole = part of shoe and laughter.) - I tried to become a baker, but I couldn’t make enough cents.
(Cents = sense and money.)
Catchy Funny Puns with Meanings
- I named my dog Five Miles so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
(Wordplay on distance and a pet’s name.) - I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
(Soft drink is both a beverage and gentle.) - I once dated an elevator operator. The relationship had its ups and downs.
(Refers to literal elevator motion and emotional highs and lows.) - I named my band “1023MB.” We haven’t gotten a gig yet.
(Gig refers to both memory size and music performances.) - My math teacher called me average. How mean!
(Mean is both the average value and an insult.) - I dropped out of the origami class. It was too fold of itself.
(Fold = full and folding paper.) - I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.
(On the other hand is both a phrase and literal.) - I got a job as a human cannonball. It’s the blast I’ve been looking for.
(Blast = exciting time and explosion.) - The magician got frustrated and pulled his hare out.
(Hare = hair and rabbit.) - I got kicked out of the secret cooking society. I spilled the beans.
(Spilled the beans means revealed a secret.) - I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
(Put down = stop reading and gravity-related.) - The coffee tasted like mud because it was ground just this morning.
(Ground coffee and ground dirt.) - I had a job as a banker, but I lost interest.
(Interest as in money and boredom.) - The new restaurant on the moon has great food but no atmosphere.
(Atmosphere as in vibe and literal air.) - I asked the gym trainer if he could teach me to do splits. He said, “How flexible are you?”
(Refers to both schedule flexibility and physical ability.) - My friend wants to become an archaeologist. His career is in ruins.
(In ruins as a pun on both failure and ancient structures.) - I had to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust.
(Gathering dust means unused.) - I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
(Playing by ear means without reading music.) - I went to buy camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
(Camouflage is meant to blend in.) - I once made a pun about vegetables, but it wasn’t very a-peeling.
(Appealing and a-peeling.) - I put my grandma on speed dial. I call it Instagram.
(Speed dial and Instagram pun.) - I started a bakery that sells only bagels. It’s a hole business.
(Hole and whole.) - The clock factory closed down. Workers just weren’t going with the times.
(Going with the times means adjusting.) - I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, then it struck me.
(Struck = realization and literal lightning.) - My cell phone got married. Now it has a ring.
(Ring = call and wedding band.) - I broke up with my mechanic girlfriend. She kept fixing things that weren’t broken.
(Mechanic and metaphorical fixer.) - The pirate got his degree. He graduated high sea’s.
(High seas and high C’s.) - The cat joined a band because it had the purrfect pitch.
(Purr and perfect.) - I bought a boat because I wanted to sea the world.
(Sea = see.) - I named my new kitten Wi-Fi because we had an instant connection.
(Refers to both emotional and network connection.) - I went to the seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel.
(Mussel and muscle.) - My chemistry set blew up. I guess I had too much reaction.
(Reaction as in chemical and response.) - I quit my job at the helium factory. I refused to be spoken to in that tone.
(Tone = voice and gas.) - I took a job as a baker. I kneaded dough.
(Kneaded and needed.) - I’m friends with all electricians. We have good current connections.
(Current = electric and now.) - I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven’t got a gig yet.
(Gig as in music show and gigabyte.) - I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
(Dough = bread and money.) - I ran a marathon once. It was a long run joke.
(Long run as in literal and figurative.) - I opened a fruit stand. It was a pear-fect business plan.
(Pear and perfect.) - I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
(Time-consuming in both ways.) - I tried to be an artist, but I didn’t draw much interest.
(Draw = sketch and attract.) - The grape didn’t want to be turned into wine. It let out a little whine.
(Whine = sound and wine.) - I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
(Clean = sober and literal.) - I bought a boat, but it was a sinking investment.
(Sinking = failure and literal.) - I couldn’t figure out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
(Click as realization and seatbelt.) - I named my fish Gill-bert.
(Gill and Gilbert.) - My new glasses weren’t cheap. I lost my focus.
(Focus = attention and vision.) - I play the piano by ear. I hit a few wrong notes, but I can hear them.
(Ear = ability and body part.) - My dog loves classical music. His favorite is Bark.
(Bark = dog and composer Bach.) - I made a pun about the wind, but it blows.
(Blows = bad and wind.) - I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded it.
(Kneaded and needed again, but different context.) - I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
(Stairs go up and so does suspicion.) - I bought a belt made of watches. It was a waist of time.
(Waist and waste.) - I tried to catch fog, but I mist.
(Mist = missed.) - I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
(Repeats for catchiness; also fun.) - I started a band called Blanket. We’re covering everything.
(Cover as in music and blanket.) - I lost my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about it.
(Mood ring indicates emotions.) - I went to a baker’s convention. It was a real knead-to-know event.
(Knead and need.) - I created a pencil that tells jokes. It’s a write laugh.
(Write and right.) - I met a mushroom at the party. He was a fungi.
(Fun guy.) - I told a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
(Construction and effort.) - I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
(Laced and tripping.) - I once dated a lightbulb. She really lit up my life.
(Literal and romantic.) - I went to school for elevator operation. It had its ups and downs.
(Again, worth repeating for catch.) - I don’t like crabs. They’re just too shellfish.
(Shellfish and selfish.) - My pencil broke, but it had a point.
(Point = tip and purpose.) - I told my suitcases there’d be no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
(Emotional and literal.) - I once dated a skeleton. It didn’t work out — no guts.
(No guts = courage and anatomy.) - I joined a debate team. It was an arguable success.
(Arguable = disputable and pun.) - I opened a barbershop for ghosts. It’s called Scarecuts.
(Scare and haircuts.) - I told my shoes to keep it together. They fell apart anyway.
(Keep it together = literal and emotional.) - I went to a karaoke bar with no mic. Talk about no sing of hope.
(Sing and sign.) - I wrote a song about tortillas. It’s a wrap.
(It’s a wrap = ending and food.) - I took my pet frog to a concert. He ribbited the whole time.
(Ribbited and ribbed.) - I made a pizza joke. It was a slice of humor.
(Slice and nice.) - I couldn’t stop playing card games. I had a full deck of problems.
(Full deck = sane and literal.) - I painted my keyboard. Now it’s a hot key mess.
(Hot key and hot mess.) - I proposed with a ring pop. She chewed on it.
(Chewed = thought and candy.) - I met a clockmaker. He had all the time in the world.
(Literal and figurative.) - I tried moonwalking but slipped on a Milky Way.
(Moonwalk and candy.) - I ran into a mirror. It reflected poorly on me.
(Reflection = literal and judgment.) - I joined a cactus club. It’s a thorny crowd.
(Thorn and tough.) - I ate alphabet soup. Now I know what I’m spelling.
(Spelling and soup.) - I was late to the yarn club. They spun a tale without me.
(Tale and spinning.) - I cleaned my keyboard with lemonade. Now it’s sticky keys.
(Sticky keys = tech issue and literal.) - I wrote a play about fish. It’s off the scales.
(Scales = fish and success.) - I gave a ghost a ride. It was a boo-lift.
(Boo and lift.) - I taught my toaster to talk. It’s now a smart toast.
(Smart and toast.) - I spilled herbs on the floor. I thyme-traveled.
(Thyme and time.) - I made a chicken salad. The chicken wasn’t thrilled.
(Salad = dish and surprise.) - I started a podcast for owls. It’s a real hoot.
(Hoot = laugh and owl.) - I put my guitar in the fridge. Now it’s chill music.
(Chill = relaxed and cold.) - I joined a cheese club. It’s grate.
(Grate and great.) - I rode a bike made of pasta. I was on a roll.
(Roll = progress and food.) - I lost my thesaurus. I’m lost for words.
(Literal and expression.) - I met a baker with no arms. He kneaded help.
(Kneaded and needed.) - I once built a castle out of cards. It collapsed under pressure.
(Metaphor and literal.) - I dated a singer once. Every breakup had a soundtrack.
(Soundtrack = music and metaphor.) - I wore flip-flops to a snowstorm. It was toe-tally a bad idea.
(Toe and totally.) - I was scared of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over them.
(Slowly = literal and healing.) - I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.
(Cut = succeed and literal.)
Other Funny Pun with Meanings
- I got a job at a calendar factory but got fired for taking a couple of days off.
(Days off means vacation and literal calendar days.) - The graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.
(Dying literally and as a saying.) - I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
(Grew on me means physically and emotionally.) - I’m terrible at math, but I hear that’s just a sine of the times.
(Sine is a math term and pun on sign.) - I dropped my phone in the toilet. Now it’s syncing.
(Syncing and sinking.) - The chicken crossed the playground to get to the other slide.
(Play on “other side” and kids’ slide.) - I had a pun about a broken pencil, but there’s no point.
(No point means useless and literally broken.) - A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
(Hard to beat as in competitive and literal.) - I put my car in reverse, and now I’m back to square one.
(Reverse and metaphorical.) - I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough bread.
(Bread means food and money.) - I was going to make myself a belt out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.
(Waist and waste.) - I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
(Hit me as in realization and literally.) - I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find the clutch.
(Clutch as both a car part and an expression.) - I told my computer I needed a break, and it froze.
(Froze as in stopped and literal computer error.) - The snowman applied for a job but melted under pressure.
(Melted literally and emotionally.) - I bought a lazy kangaroo. It’s a pouch potato.
(Pouch potato is a twist on couch potato.) - The janitor married the mop. They swept each other off their feet.
(Sweep and fall in love.) - My cactus is doing well. It’s growing on me.
(Growing on me means affection and literal growth.) - I made a pun about the wind, but it really blew away the audience.
(Blew away = impressed and wind reference.) - I went to a mime audition, but I wasn’t allowed to say anything.
(Mimes don’t speak.) - I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home all the signs were there.
(Signs literally and as clues.) - I joined a fitness group for punsters. We do word crunches.
(Word crunches = puns and ab exercises.) - The snowman got promoted. He had ice in his veins.
(Ice = cold-blooded and literal.) - I once got into an argument in an elevator. It escalated quickly.
(Escalated literally and figuratively.) - The tailor joined the army. He wanted to sew the seeds of freedom.
(Sew and sow pun.) - I got caught stealing from the bakery. I couldn’t make enough dough.
(Dough as in money and bread.) - I made a joke about the ocean. It had a lot of depth.
(Depth as in good and water.) - I’m trying to organize a hide and seek contest, but it’s hard to find good players.
(Hide and seek pun.) - I used to date a baker. She was a real tart.
(Tart as in pastry and personality.) - I named my cat “Onion” because it makes me cry.
(Onion = tears and attachment.) - I had a photographic memory but never developed it.
(Developed = improved and film.) - My friend’s bakery burned down. Now his business is toast.
(Toast = destroyed and bread.) - I broke up with my calculator. It couldn’t handle my problems.
(Problems as in math and life.) - I was addicted to hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
(Line from the song and pun.) - I tried to start a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.
(Take off as in flying and success.) - I quit the baseball team. It just wasn’t my field.
(Field = sport and personal interest.) - I met a dog who could do magic. His name was Labracadabrador.
(Labrador and abracadabra.) - I told a lumberjack joke. It didn’t fall flat.
(Fall flat and trees.) - I brought a ladder to the bar. People said I was going to the next level.
(Next level literally and metaphorically.) - The egg refused to fight. It didn’t want to crack under pressure.
(Crack as in break and stress.) - I couldn’t sleep last night, so I stayed up wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
(Dawn as in sunrise and realization.) - I entered a pun contest and sent ten puns. I thought at least one would win, but no pun in ten did.
(Play on “no pun intended.”) - The kleptomaniac didn’t understand puns. He took them literally.
(Taking literally and stealing.) - I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
(Interest as money and enthusiasm.) - I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
(Repeated idea but new delivery.) - I got locked out of my house, so I had to talk to the door. It just wasn’t open to conversation.
(Open as in literal and figurative.) - My dog loves classical music. His favorite composer is Barktoven.
(Beethoven and bark.) - I got scared of the dentist, but he told me to brace myself.
(Braces and mental prep.) - I fell in love with a mermaid. Our relationship went swimmingly.
(Swimmingly means well and literal.) - My house burned down and I lost all my photographs. That’s a developing situation.
(Developing photos and unfolding event.) - I made a belt out of recycled watches. It was timely fashion.
(Timely and stylish.) - I tried to start a band called “Paper.” We never got past the first sheet.
(Sheet = page and music.) - The magician’s dog disappeared. Now he’s a labracadabrador.
(Reinforced with variation.) - I quit my bakery job. I couldn’t handle the yeast.
(Yeast and stress.) - I got a job at the zoo feeding giraffes. I was always looking up.
(Literal and optimistic.) - I broke up with my clock. It was too time-consuming.
(Literal and metaphor.) - I got stuck in a math class. It was full of problems.
(Literal and metaphor.) - I joined a circus as a fire eater. It’s a burning passion.
(Fire and passion.) - I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but I turned myself around.
(Repeated for punch.) - I used to work for a blanket factory. It was a cover-up.
(Cover-up as in both blanket and scandal.) - I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.
(Play on packaging and expectations.) - I fell into a black hole. It was a deep experience.
(Deep = profound and literal.) - I once worked for a company that made yoyos. Business was up and down.
(Up and down as description and metaphor.) - The banana didn’t go to the party. It wasn’t peeling well.
(Peeling and feeling.) - I wrote a song about tortillas. Well, actually, it’s more of a wrap.
(Rap and food.) - I got a new job crushing cans. It’s soda pressing.
(Soda and so depressing.) - My boss said I intimidate people. I told him to say it to my face.
(Intimidating irony.) - I lost my bread recipe. Now I’m toast.
(Toast = failed and bread.) - I signed up for fencing lessons. They said I’d pick it up quickly.
(Fence and skill.) - I got a new cat. He’s purr-suasive.
(Purr and persuasive.) - I tripped over a book and fell into a novel idea.
(Novel = new and literal.) - I made a pun about elevators, but it had its ups and downs.
(Elevator and success.) - My fridge is running, but I won’t chase it.
(Play on prank call joke.) - I ate a clock. It was time-consuming.
(Pun on eating and clocks.) - I gave up trying to be a banker. I lost all interest.
(Same theme, new angle.) - I bought a car made of spaghetti. It pasta inspection.
(Pasta and passed.) - I took my broken pencil to therapy. It had a point.
(Point as in purpose and shape.) - The cow joined a band. It had the moosic in it.
(Moo and music.) - My lamp stopped working. I was left in the dark.
(Literal and uninformed.) - I opened a bakery. I make a lot of dough.
(Dough = money and flour.) - I bought a scarf for my turtle. He looked shellfish.
(Selfish and shell.) - I went to art school, but it didn’t draw me in.
(Draw and interest.) - The skeleton opened a bar. It was bone dry.
(Bone and dry humor.) - I started dating a baker. She’s really sweet.
(Sweet as in nice and sugary.) - I played cards with my dog. He’s a real cheetah.
(Cheetah and cheater.) - I got into gardening. I’m growing on it.
(Growing = literal and emotional.) - I tried eating clocks. I guess I’m wasting time.
(Time and food.) - I found a pun buried in a pun. It was in-pun-etrable.
(Inpenetrable pun.) - I fell for a botanist. We had instant chemis-tree.
(Chemistry and tree.) - I told a fish joke. They took the bait.
(Bait = lure and interest.) - I met a fish lawyer. He passed the barrrracuda.
(Bar exam and barracuda.) - I joined a perfume club. It made scents.
(Scents and sense.) - I lost my drum. It was beat.
(Beat = exhausted and musical.) - I used to be a magician, but I couldn’t pull it off.
(Pulling off a trick and success.) - I bought a beehive. It was buzzing with potential.
(Buzzing = activity and bees.) - My socks got divorced. They lost their sole mate.
(Soul and sole.) - I once met a clockmaker. He was second to none.
(Second = time and rank.) - I got invited to a pun convention. I RSVP’d punctually.
(Punctual and pun.) - I’m writing a novel about puns. It’s a real page turner.
(Page turner as exciting and pun-focused.) - I took my calendar to the beach. It needed a date.
(Date = romantic and calendar.) - I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
(Paranoia and humor.)
Read More: Jokes For Primary Aged Children
FAQs
What are funny puns?
Funny puns are humorous plays on words that rely on multiple meanings or similar sounds to create a joke or witty effect.
Why do people enjoy puns so much?
People enjoy puns because they’re clever, unexpected, and often make everyday language more fun and playful.
Are puns considered a form of intelligent humor?
Yes, puns often require quick thinking and a good grasp of language, making them a clever and witty form of humor.
What makes a pun funny instead of just corny?
A pun is funny when it’s well-timed, surprising, and creatively uses wordplay in a way that’s clever rather than forced.
Can funny puns be used in writing or speeches?
Absolutely! Puns can lighten the mood, grab attention, or make a memorable point in writing, speeches, or presentations.
Are puns appropriate for all ages?
Yes, most puns are family-friendly and can be enjoyed by kids and adults alike, depending on the context and wordplay.
Do puns exist in other languages too?
Definitely! Puns are a universal form of wordplay, and every language has its own unique puns based on its structure and sounds.
How do I come up with my own funny puns?
Start by thinking of homophones or double meanings of words, then create a sentence that plays on both meanings in a clever way.
What’s the difference between a pun and a joke?
A joke can take many forms, but a pun specifically involves wordplay that relies on similar sounds or meanings for humor.
Are there different types of puns?
Yes, puns can be homophonic (sound-alike words), homographic (same spelling), visual (images with wordplay), and compound puns involving multiple layers.
Conclusion
Funny puns are a simple, clever way to bring smiles and laughter to everyday moments. Whether you’re sharing them with friends or just need a quick pick-me-up, these puns prove that a little wordplay can go a long way. Keep punning—it’s good for the soul.
